Barbie Davenporte

Barbie FTW

Sex and Loathing in Los Angeles: When Barbie Met A.V.

Barbie Davenporte
I see Miss Flox has gone on a judgment spree on her adorable little tiny blog. I don't blame her; I'm flattered. But honeycakes, green really isn't your color. You see, we'd met before yesterday's lingerie fight. We were at the Blogger Prom. Contractually obligated to play nice in front......
The audience during a Therre Thaemlitz performance; Credit: Courtesy of the artist

Barbie vs. Flox: Lingerie Duel Carnage. Now You Vote.

Barbie Davenporte
So the lingerie duel between @avflox and I...the physical femmy fight that broke out as a result of a corporate-induced rivalry...it went down yesterday. (Damn right that pun's intended.) Need a refresher? Clarissa This explains it all: My body hurts. I'm exhausted. And I have a fucking day job so......
law logo2x b

A Feud Grows in Lala Land. Lingerie Duel Accepted!

Barbie Davenporte
I'm not one for aggressive confrontation. Don't get me wrong, I can handle my own AND theirs, but I choose instead to communicate and work things out sans silly drama. But this is the real world, and being a one-woman show armed with tools, knowledge and wit that rivals most......
law logo2x b

No Orgasm? She's Not Broken. Learn How to Come.

Barbie Davenporte
An open message to all the men out there who've called the women they've slept with "defective" after a 15-minute pumping session failed to result in an orgasm: This especially goes out to the handful of buffoons (you know who you are) who didn't believe me when I told them......
law logo2x b

Sextiquette: 4 Tips for Effective Text-Message Sex

Barbie Davenporte
Talk of sexting and MMSexting -- and a Twitter-based lingerie twitpic contest looming (if you're not following @AfterDarkLA and @NakedCity at this point, do it now so you can see some almost-titties) -- has gotten me horned up. What do I do when I'm all warmed up with nowhere to......
law logo2x b

The Big Blue Dildo. Memorabilia for My Muff.

Barbie Davenporte
When you break up with someone, there often are leftover artifacts that unbearably remind you of the happier times of the relationship. Some common items: • the blanket you cuddled under on cold days • the giant sweatshirt you wore on fat days • the pillow you used to prop......
(function(r, d, u) { var s = d.createElement(r); s.async = true; s.setAttribute('data-cfasync', false); u += '&cb=' + Date.now() + Math.random(); s.src = u; var n = d.getElementsByTagName(r)[0]; n.parentNode.insertBefore(s, n); })('script', document, '//engine.laweekly.com/?221982862');
law logo2x b

Stop Pretending to Have Raging Orgasms. K Thx.

Barbie Davenporte
A word to all the women out there who fake their way through one-nighters and short-term hook-ups. (And if you're still doing it after your wedding night, you'd better find something to fill the hole, er, void.) Please stop pretending to have raging orgasms. You're not doing anyone a favor......
law logo2x b

50 Cent Gets It. Just Doesn't Quite Get the Gays.

Barbie Davenporte
So 50 Cent (aka Fiddy, you know I'm gangsta) took the initiative to stand up for all us pussies and give the men of the world a wake-up call. C'mon people. Choose cunnilingus or...shoot yourself? The only problem here being the fact that there are a handful...maybe even hundreds (GASP!)......