It's pretty hilarious to see the headlines this morning after a paparazzi standing on the street corner just down from the Brentwood home of Maria Shriver and Arnold Schwarzenegger caught the former newswoman again yammering on her cell phone while driving a huge black whatever SUV.

On the video, which you can watch over at TMZ, the paparazzi declares fairly loudly “No more on the cell phone Maria!” and Shriver actually drops the damn thing in her lap like a teenager caught with a beer. Now Arnold is saying he is going to put a stop to it (not the paparazzi, his wife's behavior), setting off mild speculation about how that would work, exactly.

In fact, Arnold, who the Los Angeles Times notes is famed for turning off the water if his kids take overlong showers, plays a pretty damn omnipresent — even a bit weird– role in her daily life, and here's how: 

About three years ago, I interviewed the governor at one of his favorite restaurants in Beverly Hills, a little Italian joint.  He told me, on tape, that he does most of Maria Shriver's shopping for clothes, jewelry and even shoes because he's a terrible “fashion whore” and she loves fashion but hates to shop.

I found that hilarious and kind of sweet — and totally believable from a man who spent several hundred dollars on custom cowboy boots embedded with the official State of California Seal.

Maria can afford the $140 ticket (if you heard $25, nuh uh, they tack on all kinds of huge fees), but it's the spectacle of doing something everybody now knows is dangerous to other people that's the problem. It's as dangerous as drunk driving, and we've all had to ween ourselves off of cell phones behind the wheel. 

Here's how the water-withholder can get his wife to toe the line:  withhold the next batch of slings by Vera Wang and cut back on her collection of painful office pumps by Manolo Blahnik.

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