Dave Shulman

DEAR FUCKIN’ SANTA, First, I’d like to thank you for your kind letter. I’m glad you enjoyed the story about my Uncle Molly, and hope that you also had a happy Halloween. Fuckin’ Santa, as you may already know — for you know so very much — it appears likely......

AN AMBITIOUS BATCH OF MY RELATIVES ditched Eastern Europe for France or the United States in the early 20th century. The French cousins survived World War II in the sewers of Paris. After they emerged, some stayed in France to become physicians, some moved to Sweden to become physicians, and......

The zipless fuck is absolutely pure.?It is free of ulterior motives. There is no power game. The man is not “taking” ?and the woman is not “giving.” No one?is attempting to cuckold a husband or humiliate a wife. No one is trying to prove anything or get anything out of......

LEAVING BY WAY OF SECONDARY northbound arteries, staying clear of the coast. By car until dusk, until the tank runs dry, then by foot until dawn. A roadside diner. Just uphill to the east, among pines. Tin screen door flaps behind me. The waitress thinks she knows me from somewhere......

BOSKO MEGGS WAS AN INDOOR MAN. He lived in a two-room walkup. He used to like to go outside, before the sun turned mean. But now going outside meant buying sunblock, a luxury that Bosko could no longer afford. The rich fuckers owned everything now, even nature. “Fuck ’em,” Bosko......

“Will Rogers . . . used to come out with a newspaper and pretend he was a yokel ?criticizing the intellectuals who ran the government. I come out with a newspaper ?and pretend I’m an intellectual making fun of the yokels running the government.” —Mort Sahl On one of recorded history’s hottest......

“THE REASON THAT THE TEST audiences don’t like it,” Hollywood motion-picture director Peter-Anne Cornwallow unknowingly told Flanders Blake, “is because the critics haven’t told them how good it is.” Cornwallow spoke more deliberately into the phone at the time, with his feet up in his home office, defending himself against......

ALAN CAUGHT THE TAIL END of the news on the television in the Rileys’ living room. Then he muted the sound and returned to the kitchen, where Melvin now poured tequila, and Jim, Keith, Dave, Ron, Ted and Charlie candidly discussed tequila-specific rituals. “You put the salt right there, and......

HECTOR SCHECHNER JOINED ME at a Waffle House in Nashville in the early afternoon of Tuesday, July 4. Schechner chose this location for our meeting because this is the very same Waffle House — one in a chain of over 1,500 restaurants in 25 states — where Bill Hicks once......