Dave Shulman

Credit: Kevin Scanlon

Joe Wilson

Dave Shulman
On June 7, 2005, comedian Joe Wilson, a small camcorder and a 32-ounce Mason jar stood together as one, about eight feet from where two famous actors worked the red carpet at a Hollywood movie premiere. At just the right moment, Wilson’s camera captured Wilson’s jar capturing almost 58 cubic......
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Holiday Coffee-table Books for the Whole Damn Family

Dave Shulman
Many of us, I’m told, still live in buildings created specifically for human housing. And the more fortunate among us, so the story goes, have multiple rooms at our disposal. Some of these, so-called living rooms, contain not only television sets and comfortable chairs and sofas but coffee tables; and......

Small Child, Cute, Ages Normally

Dave Shulman
MILAN JIANQI LADMAN-FRYKMAN is a small, cute, nonfictional child. You should enjoy reading about her, because it’ll remind you of when you were small, cute and nonfictional, before you noticed that our otherwise friendly world was being ruled almost exclusively by fucked-up people who enjoy doing fucked-up things. By the......

Lingua Toluca

Dave Shulman
ELIZA JANE SCHNEIDER has her own fingerprints, Social Security number, employment history, references, everything. If you could see the photographs I took of her as she led me through the hallowed private libraries of her mentor and landlord, legendary dialectologist Robert Easton, you’d understand just how nonfictional she is. Easton,......

Superbad's Boys To Men

Dave Shulman
Why must the big studios pick the Four Seasons Beverly Hills for all of their press junkets? Why can’t journalists and movie stars all shoot baskets together at Fairfax High, or fly up to Vancouver and pick wild blackberries? Even with airfare, the studios would save lots of money, and......

Jerry Is My Pimp

Dave Shulman
She didn’t like to think of the men who paid her as tricks. She preferred the term “love partners,” as Jan and Paul Crouch called folks who dialed in and pledged on the number that crawled under their plush Praise The Lord chairs on the Trinity Broadcasting Network.—Jerry Stahl, “Pure”HECTOR......

The Couch Gag

Dave Shulman
THE LIVING ROOM IS UNSTABLE. At times the couch falls through the floor, or worse. But the next day the floor’s hole has healed, and everything’s fine. The choir sings and the clouds part to reveal a balmy afternoon in the city that surrounds the couch. The city, too, is......
Illustration by Matt Groening The Simpsons ™ and © 2007 Twentieth Century Fox Film Corporation. All Rights Reserved.

Matt Groening: Life Is Swell

Dave Shulman
Move to Los Angeles. Let your jaw wobble in amazement. Gasp for air. Rub your eyes. Catch your breath. Check your wallet. Curse your fate . . . —Matt Groening, “How to Write a Weekly Music Column,” Los Angeles Reader, 1985 In his 30 Los Angeles years, Matt Groening has never been......
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The Meat Puppets' Magic Brother Missing

Dave Shulman
December 26, 2003, was an extremely crappy day in a string of crappy months and years for Cris Kirkwood. He parked his car in the downtown Phoenix post-office parking lot in such a way as to attract another patron’s unfriendly attention. An argument ensued, and security guard Thomas Goodrum was......