Presented here for your edification, the 10 most disgusting alien chest-burster cakes in the galaxy. They are listed in order of ascending grossness. Let's eat!
10. The Cutie Chest-Burster Cake
Aww, look at the cute little alien. Can't you just picture him dancing with a little top hat and cane while singing “Hello, My Baby,” on the countertop? This one, shot by Jeff Cross was apparently someone's birthday present.
9. Sweet Humans Cake
This one, from Auroracakes, could never be frightening, what with the sweet, dopey little human figures posed in front of the cake. They remind me of Gumby.
8. The Shrimpy Alien Cake
Captures the shrimp-like nature of the alien quite well. This one from DigiNik13 is a masterpiece in the sense that you want to eat the alien, rather than feel afraid you will be eaten by the alien. The goop inside the egg…looks like caviar. Tell me it's crawfish flavored.
7. Aliens in Love Cake
On the grossness scale, yes, these aliens photographed by Brian Herbst are sort of gross. However, they are clearly in love, having found in each other the perfect soul mate. Or perhaps they are Siamese twins. Whatever. In any case, this is love. And love, by definition, is not gross. Or at least that's what we're meant to believe.
6. Evil Black Forest Alien Cake
Okay, now we're talking gross. Phallic suggestion? Check. Blood? Check. Tiny little teeth? Check. It's a black forest cake, says the baker. The angle of the photo, shot by Jill Brooking, makes the alien look extra special phallic. Geiger would be proud. And maybe even hungry.
5. Rex's Alien Torso Cake
Who is Rex? I don't know. But there is nothing left of him except for a torso, sans head and arms. I rate this cake from Sweet Creations as slightly more gross than the previous one, because of the decapitated, dismembered torso. With nametag.
4. Alien Baby Burster Cake
This cake was made for someone's baby shower. “The cake is red velvet with cream cheese icing. The alien is sculpted from marzipan,” photographer Mal00005's notes say. A baby alien bursting out of a pregnant belly is pretty freaking disgusting. I give it an “A” for “atrocious.” (Though the wee bitty baby alien's smile is adorable!) In keeping with the baby shower theme, those with truly sick minds might even interpret that rounded mound as a breast.
3. The Slimy Extraterrestrial Egg Cake
When a cake gleams as if slimed with blood and mucous and green body fluids, it ups the grossout factor by, oh, a thousand percent. Yes, this cake baked by AbbieTabbie Christine Hamilton is edible. But just barely. Her sons, she says, ate it from the back forwards “to preserve it for as long as possible.”
2. Where the Hell Is The Alien Cake
Did you ever play that surgery board game? The one where the board buzzed if you touched the sides of the body cavity while removing the plastic organs with your tweezers? Yeah, this cake from Stefan is the baked-goods version of that game. Only instead of carefully removing the organs with tweezers, an alien has punched his way through the intestinal walls with his teeth.
1. The Alien Autopsy Cake
At last, the grossest alien cake to be found on the interwebs. It's not just the cake itself but the staging that puts this one over the top. Note the steel autopsy table, the sinks, the medical instruments, the hacksaw. This cake (from Johanna de Silentio) glistens. Glistens! If you look closely, there's even a skeletal hand peeping out, as if the flesh had been flayed away. Obviously, this is not the alien of the Alien franchise. But it is damned guh-ross. And I think it's chocolate.
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