There's a new sex show in town and it's nothing like what you've seen grace the Los Angeles Convention Center before.

This is the first show (in America, at least…things get hog wild in Amsterdam) that targets so many corners and crevices of human sexuality that they couldn't think of a clever-enough name.

The Everything To Do With Sex Show is coming to the Convention Center May 20-22, bringing together fashion, sex education, sexy stage shows and even a fucking* DUNGEON to show you, the people of L.A., just what it means to be a sex fiend.

*The word “Fucking” is used here as an exclamatory statement, NOT an adjective. Sorry.

Wanna go? Duh. Wanna go for free with VIP tickets? Double Duh.

Well here's how:

We at AfterDarkLA have 17 pairs of VIP tickets to give away to you lucky readers.

The first 17 to follow @AfterDarkLA and name your favorite sex position gets tickets mailed right to their gaping mailboxes.

But wait, that's not all!

We've also got 4 VIP Gift Bags full of so many unmentionables that our less sex-centric colleagues at LAWeekly sported a perma-blush after looking inside each one.

Think: Sex toys, lube, porn. The staples.

How do you get your hands on one of those bags?

In 140 characters or less describe your ultimate sexual fantasy. Our favorite 4 will each get a bag mailed to them.

The competition ends May May 18 at midnight. Make it count.

Why are you still online? Get a move on — we don't got all day, and the winners need to start stretching and lubing up for the weekend of their lives!

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