There's a new makeup in town, and this stuff won't end up all over your (or that random dude's) pillow the morning after. Originally made for use in the plastic surgery world as a body-safe makeup that covers up Botox welts and laser marks, this smudge-proof, sweat-proof and even healing face makeup isn't just for the Frankensteins of Beverly Hills.

It's perfect sex makeup.

Oxygenetix has been deemed the “Gore-tex of makeup” by those who rely on it day to day — many of whom are porn stars. Whether you're being taped by an unapologetic HD camera or scrutinized under fluorescent lights by that guy you picked up at the Snake Pit, it's easy to let self-consciousness get in the way of a good lay.

There's a lot that this stuff can do. Aside from the usual — it covers scars and general flaws well enough to be used for HD camera shoots — Oxygenetix is able to conceal tattoos with a few (or more) layers without clogging the skin and can even mask marks on your skin that you don't want your coworkers to see the next day.

Oxygenetix can be worn directly on bruises and scars and while it makes you look pretty it actually helps heal the skin underneath. For instance, after a particularly enthusiastic flogging session or a sexcapade that included more biting and sucking than expected, Oxygenetix can conceal the pigmentation while also cutting the healing time down by days.

One of its key ingredients is ceravitae, a peptide that produces oxygen via osmosis and ultimately promotes collagen production and connective tissue growth. That matched with aloe vera and barbadensis leaf juice — from plants grown locally in California — the makeup soothes away any physical remnants of the night prior while healing any marks that might have otherwise been semi-permanent reminders.

But possibly the best part is it stays put without smearing all over your lover's collar, sheets, couch cushions or white carpeting. Oxygenetix can be worn underwater for up to 90 minutes (for those special submerged sex occasions) and will stay on your face while working out or working up a sex-related sweat without fear of it dripping onto something it shouldn't.

And I speak from experience here. So if you're looking for some fool-proof makeup that'll stay put on your skin during one intimate experience while healing the hickeys/welts/bruises from another, give Oxygenetix a try.

You can find it online (don't let the “physicians only” labels turn you away) and you'll probably gasp at the price. But it just might be worth your wallet's temporary ass-rape, because this makeup really does what it claims.

LA Weekly