Me-o Mayo! It’s Cinco de Mayo. The last thing you want to do today is cram yourself into a bar serving margaritas from a tube. Margaritas should not glow like that (this means you, El Coyote!). Why is it so shockingly difficult to find a good margarita in this town? It’s not even easy to find a decent one in Mexico! So, to save you from yourself, I have decided to share my dad’s classic recipe:

1½ ounces clear tequila, preferably Herradura

Splash of Cointreau

Bigger splash of freshly squeezed lime juice

Lots of ice

Blend only if you don’t have the good tequila. Salt if you must. Drink. Repeat.

Over at the Fake Gallery, it’s The Counterfeit Lounge“where the listening comes easy and the laughter comes hard.” Bill Fakely hosts, and the music is provided by the Brad Carow Orchestra, who many of you know from SpongeBob SquarePants. Taking the mic in the name of possibly very but probably very hilarious “song stylings” will be The Lampshades’ Kate Flannery, Karen Kilgariff doing a gospelized version of “Highway to Hell,” Eddie Pepitone as a post-apocalyptic lougensinger and a rapper with low self-esteem, and Jason Nash as Reverend Nash. The Fake Gallery, 4319 Melrose Ave., Hollywood; Fri., May 5, 9 p.m.; $5. (323) 661-0786.


“Bacon Fat,” “Jailbait,” “Pass the Biscuits and the Greasy Chicken” and, of course, the ever-romantic “Pussy Stank” are just a few of the gems recorded by legendary bad, bad boy Andre Williams. How bad is he? Well, wily rascal Rudy Ray “Dolemite” Moore calls him “the baddest motherfucker I know.” Mr. Williams performs with his band the Flash Express. Spaceland, 1717 Silver Lake Blvd., Silver Lake; Sat., May 6, 9 p.m.; (323) 661-4380.


What did you do in the last 48 hours? Instant Films 21 — A Festival of Short Films Made in 48 Hours is pretty self-explanatory. You’ll see seven spanking-new short films created by pros in the belief that “talent, creativity and sleep deprivation can produce an incredible filmmaking adventure.” Writers received random topics on the theme “21 and older” on a Friday night and had 12 hours to write their 10-minute script. Saturday morning, director, cast and crew shot like hell so they could edit the thing by late Sunday. Go see what talented people come up with under extreme time pressure. Los Angeles Center Studios, 450 S. Bixel St., downtown; Sun., May 7, 8 p.m., awards and party follow screenings; $15, $8 in advance. (213) 534-3000.


Just when you thought the world needed another memoir like another ozone hole, here comes Augusten Burroughs with his third me-me-me-story, Possible Side Effects, which promises “Doll collecting. The Tooth Fairy. Incontinent dogs. eBay addiction. Hot cardiologists. Junior Mints. Nicorette gum. Coffins (as bookcases). Enforcing traffic laws. Julia Child.” Burroughs signs at a special off-campus Book Soup event. Café-Club Fais Do-Do, 5257 W. Adams Blvd., Los Angeles; Mon., May 8, 7 p.m.; free (book $23.95). (310) 659-3110.


Harold O’Neal’s Harold’s Home Movies took more than 48 hours; it’s a collection of home movies shot over 50 years documenting gay men in San Francisco, focusing on everyday pre-Stonewall life. The documentary screens as part of UCLA Film & Television Archive’s “Saving and Preserving Small-Gauge Film” series. Also on the bill is Living Room Cinema: Remarkable Films From Home Movie Day 2003, a compilation of amateur films. Snowden Becker and Brian Graney, from the Center for Home Movies, will be on hand. James Bridges Theater, 1409 Melnitz Hall, UCLA Campus, Westwood; Tues., May 9, 7:30 p.m.; free. ?(310) 206-8013.


His friends call him “Lenny,” but the rest of us should stick with “Mr. Cohen.” Leonard Cohen I’m Your Man is the documentary that Wim Wenders called “one of the greatest music films of all time.” I just wish they had called it I’m Your Monk. Nick Cave (pant, pant), U2, Antony, Beth Orton, Rufus Wainwright and more are featured in the film, which concludes AFI’s Music Documentary Series. ArcLight Hollywood, 6360 Sunset Blvd., Hollywood; Wed., May 10, 8 p.m.; $11. (323) 464-4226.


So you say you’ve always wanted to experience the delicious Vietnamese fare found in SoCal’s Little Saigon, but you’d rather fly halfway across the world than drive to Westminster, or wherever the hell Little Saigon is? Come to the Little Saigon Cookbook Release Party, held in Silver Lake, which is only about five miles, or 45 minutes, from Hollywood. Author Ann Le will be on hand, and you can nibble on divine Vietnamese fare by Gingergrass. For some reason, there will also be a DJ named to be Wesley Snipe, who is not that Wesley Snipes. Did I mention free wine? Black Maria Art Gallery, 3137 Glendale Blvd., Silver Lake; Thurs., May 11, 6 p.m.; free. (323) 660-9393.?

LA Weekly