In Australia, and anywhere, a vagina sometimes needs a little off the top…and I'm not talking about bikini waxes, bushy lightning bolts, or any hairstyles of the pubic forest.
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If an over-hanging labium has got you feeling low, a trip to the local Aussie doctor can lift your spirits as well as your vulva.
At least that's how it can go, for now.
Slick sheilas with any number of vaginal conditions can be approved by their gynos for a vaginal-tightening procedure under their Medicare coverage, so long as it's done purposefully for other than “purely cosmetic reasons.”
According to one Australian cosmetic surgeon's website, a vaginal rejuvenation surgery can “alleviate incontinence in women who have undergone childbirth, by reconstructing loose, pelvic-floor muscles.”
Additionally, a labial reduction surgery removes excess skin from the labia majora, which is a prime cause of uncomfortable friction during walking, sports or even sex. Loose lips can really sink pricks, I guess. I mean, what dick doesn't want a tight fit? Damn straight.
The cost averages around $4,500. To boot, the surgery is often done outside of a hospital setting and expensed through Medicare. Combining these attractive facts, the number of tauter Aussie tacos has nearly doubled over the previous two years.
These custom koochies are costing taxpayers thousands out of an estimated $17 billion budget annually. This has concerned the Australian government, which is looking to tighten up things other than the genitals of their female population.
That's not a knife, it's a scalpel…and it's trimming the fat, Dundee! Look. Really.
How about an original, alternative solution that keeps pussy primping proponents untouched? I got it: the government could nationally subsidize Vegemite and kangaroo meat, and subsequently increase export tariffs! But then again, no one really wants to eat that shit…so I guess Australian men would do better to fuck the kangaroo meat, or jar of Vegemite. Because without designer vaginas in the budget, sticking a cock in your girlie's va-hey-hey could feel less like sex and more like an Australian Shepherd prancing about the outback.
Vulvoplasty, labiaplasty, vaginal rejuvination or whatever quirky terminology you prefer, it's helping thousands of women worldwide feel like a virgin again, touched for the very first time.
Whether or not this stays in the Australian budget next year, just know that everywhere there is a capable doctor, this procedure can be important for women whose koala baskets may have been through the proverbial ringer — plus it doubly serves to help potential male mates cum from their respective land down-under. Shrimp on the Barbie.