USC Trojans. With a name like that, it figures that the young men and woman of Troy are claiming yet another victory over crosstown rival UCLA.
Yep, Trojans have more sex than Bruins. Duh. Trojans were practically made for sex.
That USC conquest was revealed today by the dating site OkCupid, which analyzed data from its millions of users and crossed it with other figures. This particular college-sex chart used U.S. News & World Report info about tuition rates to conclude …
… private school kids do it more often. Or, in OkCupid's words, “the more your parents are paying for your education, the more horny you are.”
(Or, in the immortal words of rapper Rick Ross, “Money make me cum.” NSFW lyrics).
And while we know that Trojans excel at public rooftop sex, the caveat here is that USC only beat out UCLA by like a few tenths of a percent. That's like winning by a hair over 69. Or something.
UCLA students had just under five sex sessions a week, according to OkCupid. USC? Right around 5.3.
The only solution here, fellow Bruins? Get to work. We know you're smarter. But are you hotter? Bragging rights are at stake. And, uh, just for superstition's sake, use Lifestyles instead.
Advertising disclosure: We may receive compensation for some of the links in our stories. Thank you for supporting LA Weekly and our advertisers.