Update: 11/21, 1:35 p.m. Arkay's November 1 press release claiming it received halal-certification from the Islamic Food & Nutrition Council of America was strongly refuted by that certifying organization.

IFANCA issued its own release and warns “all halal consumers, retailers and distributors. As with any company making halal claims, it is every person's right to ask ArKay Beverages to produce their halal certificate.”

The original piece, published November 17, appears below.

You aficionados who know the difference between “whisky” and “whiskey” may want to come up with an alternate spelling for ArKay, the first non-alcoholic whisKay. Whiskaaay. Yeah, that's it.

Here's how the company pitches it on their website:

ArKay, the world`s first alcohol free whisky flavored drink is designed for the socialite to the construction worker. The exceptional taste of whisky without the alcohol making a perfect beverage that anyone can consume.

Anyone can drink it? Like children? And what makes you think socialites and construction workers are on opposite ends of anything? We can totally see Paris Hilton bang hang with construction workers.

ArKay tastes and looks exactly like traditional whisky. It is suitable for drinking straight up, on the rocks, or with soda or your favorite mixers.

Tastes and looks exactly? These are the ingredients in ArKay:

  • Water
  • Glycerol
  • Natural and Artificial flavors
  • Lactic acid
  • Caramel color
  • Potassium Sorbate
  • Aspartame and Acesulfame K
  • Phenylketonurics contains Phenyalanine

Hey, real whisky is sugar free too! So, yeah, exactly like traditional whisky. How much would you pay now? But wait, there's more:

Also known as 'halal whisky' this non-alcoholic drink can be considered as a soft drink and is suitable for any party occasions. Due to the overwhelming response for ArKay from customers and distributors from around the world, we promise to bring our flavored alcohol free beverage to a location near you.

Did you hear that, observant-muslim socialites and construction workers? “Overwhelming response.” Pre-order some whiskaaay today!

Shuji Sakai writes about breakfast with longshoremen and genuine imitation whiskey. Follow him on Twitter and professorsalt.com.

LA Weekly