[UPDATE: We're gonna play a little Oliver Stone here, so bear with us.

– A couple of days ago a video “preview” of Katy Perry's jiggling boobies' appearance on Sesame Street was posted all over the web.

– Gawker commenters were riled up into sanctimonious outrage about Katy Perry's jiggling boobies.

– Sesame Street announced they wouldn't be airing Katy Perry's jiggling boobies.

– BUT, people could still watch Katy Perry's jiggling boobies on Sesame Street all over Youtube

– And, today, lo and behold, YOUTUBE'S FEATURED CONTENT IS…SESAME STREET! (see picture)

– Was this a massive publicity stunt featuring Katy Perry's jiggling boobies???

This, my friends, could be the biggest Sesame Street-related conspiracy since notorious unibrowed homosexual Bert joined Al Qeda!]

Katy Perry's Jiggling Boobies Too Racy for “Sesame Street” (originally posted 9/23/2010)

Katy and her Perries

Katy and her Perries

It's pretty obvious that Katy Perry is an inoffensive pop singer targeted to preteens, who specializes in bouncy, repetitive tunes about candy and other child stuff (board games, playing doctor) all mashed up with coy references to sex–not sex as an adult, sweat-drenched activity, but more like a funny spin-the-bottle, pajama party kind of thing.

You know, for preteens and such.

(See also the brilliant South Park episode that explains how the Jonas Brothers are just an excuse for Disney to sell sex to preteens).

Well, some genius invited Los Feliz resident Perry to Sesame Street, who targets pre-pre-teens. Things didn't go very well:

Perry sang a variation of her sex-for-people-who-are-too-young-for-actual-sex song “Hot and Cold,” with lyrics changed to reflect a confusing teasing game with the puppet Elmo:

The problem was that Perry displayed her cleavage in her usual, sex-for-preteens way, and the moralists at Gawker caused a fuss about it and the Sesame Street people freaked out:

Sesame Workshop, the company that produces the show, responded to the controversy this morning by announcing that producers have decided to pull the song from the broadcast version of the program. The clip will remain online at KatyPerry.com, however, so the singer's more mature fans can watch it. “'Sesame Street' has always been written on two levels, for the child and adult,” reads a statement from the show. “We use parodies and celebrity segments to interest adults in the show because we know that a child learns best when co-viewing with a parent or caregiver. We also value our viewers' opinions and particularly those of parents. In light of the feedback we've received on the Katy Perry music video, which was released on YouTube only, we have decided we will not air the segment on the television broadcast of 'Sesame Street,' which is aimed at preschoolers.” (via Yahoo.com)

In a nutshell, a shitshow. Nobody ended up looking good, with the possible exception of Perry's jiggling boobies. And everybody–babies, preteens, teens, adults and old people–loves boobies.

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