Listen, we love bacon as much (and maybe more) than the next guy. We celebrate its savory crunch on Nickel Diner glazed donut holes, its smoky aroma in Street's Bacon Bloody Mary and its meaty chunks in Red O's pork belly sopes. But there's a fine line between celebration and selling out. Turn the page for 10 signs you've gone too far in your obsession. And maybe that you just need to go back to your local diner for the real thing.
10. Bacon Jam: We don't know about you, but when we think of jam the usual suspects come to mind: strawberry, grape and if we're really getting crazy, orange marmalade. But the idea of bacon jam never entered our minds, until now. How do you make it? Fry up some bacon, add a bunch of spices and pulse the combo in a food processor until it becomes spreadable. Try it, you might like it.
9. Bacon Hot Sauce: Last time we checked, hot sauce should include a selection of peppers, peppers and… more peppers. But have you heard of the bacon pepper? Neither have we. We'll stick to dipping our bacon and eggs in Sriracha.
8. Bacon Maple Lattes: Available at San Francisco's Pirate Cat Radio Cafe, the original “Mapple Bacon Latte” is a double espresso latte spiked with organic maple syrup and Prather Ranch bacon, sprinkled with Bac-Os. Should we sip it, chew it or dip a pancake in it?
7. Tomato-Flavored Bacon Jerky: In the event you're hard up for actual bread, bacon, lettuce and tomato, we suppose you could order a packet of Bacon Freak's Summer BLT tomato-flavored bacon jerky. Top it with some avocado and you've got yourself a BLAT.
6. Bacon-Flavored Water: Technically water for your furry friend, “Bacon Delight” H2O gives you the benefits of hydration along with a meaty after-taste. When it comes to drinking bacon, we'll save the bacon breath for Fido and splurge on Bacon Vodka for ourselves.
5. Bacon-Flavored Coffee Syrup: Check your local grocery stores shelves and you'll find a plethora of flavored coffee syrups: hazelnut, vanilla, chocolate, etc. Now we can add bacon to the list. If you can't get to Pirate Cat Cafe (see #8), you can make a maple bacon latte at home instead.
4. Bacon-Flavored Lip Balm: If you love bacon — like, really LOVE bacon — this lip balm might be for you. But it's not for us. While we love bacon, that's just going too far. After all, why would you pay for bacon lip balm when you can just use bacon grease?
3. Bacon Lollipops: How many licks does it take to get the center of a maple bacon pop? You might lose track as you stop to chew the bits of bacon. The good news: it should be a delicious journey. The bad news: you may have some explaining to do at your dentist.
2. Bacon Gumballs: If you're trying to wean yourself off bacon, these gumballs are the pork equivalent of Nicorette. Instant, if not artificial, bacon gratification. On the other hand, if you're on a diet, consider this calorie-free bacon indulgence.
1. Tac Bac: Tactical Canned Bacon: Pre-cooked and preserved in the form of actual bacon strips, this bacon will last for at 10 least years. So if the apocalypse hits, Tac Bac bacon will give you years of nourishment. Or high-blood pressure, whichever comes first.
Christie Bishop also blogs for PardonMyCrumbs.com.