Blame it on a week of traumatic television programming (The Chew, The Boston Red Sox), but while watching ESPN the other day, it became increasingly clear that Cal Ripken, Jr., the longtime Baltimore Orioles player and Hall of Famer, and Tom Colicchio — well, you know who he is — not only look terrifyingly similar, but could perhaps be the same person. A swivel of the bald head. A play of the TV lights. The dirt from the infield and a dusting of cocoa powder look suspiciously similar. Somebody go check the shooting schedules of Top Chef and SportsCenter and we'll put in a call to Keith Olbermann. If anyone could confirm this, it would probably be him.

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