In the annals of “Guitar Face”–that pseudo-orgasmic grimace that some players pull-off, pretending they're playing something with the complexity of John Fahey when in fact they're running scales up and down really fast–there is a noble lineage going from the guy from Free to G.E. Smith (the SNL bandleader in the 80s and 90s) to until-now supremo orgasmaestro John Mayer.

Well, meet the new King of the O-Face, none other than prog-revivalist Omar Rodríguez-López of The Mars Volta, on the cover of the current (dated Feb. 2010) issue of Guitar Player magazine:

[A comparison between Past Master(bator) John Mayer and Great Boricua Hope Omar Rodríguez-López, plus some words of wisdom from the disembodied head of Frank Zappa, after the jump.]

Meet the new boss:

Same as the old boss:

And now, some words of wisdom from Frank Zappa's indispensable The Real Frank Zappa Book:

I respect musicians' idiosyncrasies–they add 'texture' to a performance. Musicians tend to generate better 'texture' when they get 'The Blow Job.' Yes, I want them to find that elusive cross between a waitress and an industrial vacuum cleaner.

[…]They should all get The Blow Job–but they should get it the honest way–they should earn it, by playing the songs right. Sometimes they try to cheat…and, folks, it is not a pretty sight.

For instance, there are a lot of reasons why musicians like to play solos on a stage–but the usual reason in rock and roll is to get The Blow Job. One way to ensure that you look like the greatest thing going when you play your big solo is to make sure that you end your solo by going up the scale, then grab the last note and repeat it as fast as you can.

The statement is the same on any instrument: “Oh I'm squirting now!” (Clever subtext to the audience.)

LA Weekly