If you can't take the heat — well, let's just say that the Hollywood Wax Museum has announced plans to auction off James Dean, Marilyn Monroe and nearly 200 other wax figures on May 1. The housecleaning sale is the first in the museum's 44-year history and offers something for every genre of celebrity: politics (Bill Clinton), sports (Tiger Woods), film (Will Smith) and music (Cher — please no wax or waxing jokes). The auction, according to A.P., will be operated by Profiles in History, with “a portion” of the proceeds benefiting the preservation of Hollywood's Walk of Fame.

A link to the auction's inventory reveals what appear to be the ashtrays of every Hollywood Boulevard souvenir store, only transformed into five-foot-ten wax beings whose estimated average value ranges between $2,000-$3,000. There's Charlie Chaplin and Mae West, of course, along with slightly campier fare represented by Margaret Hamilton as the Wicked Witch of the West (comes with Flying Monkey). You can buy a nativity tableau early for Christmas or, a little too late for Easter, several crucifixion scenes. (The available Mary Magdalene figure, we guess, can do double duty at a hooker's ball party.)

For those with a wad to blow, there's also a celebrity-worn clothing

line available. These include a pair of Hugh Hefner's custom-made silk pajamas ($1,000-$1,500) and Fernando Valenzuela's Dodger jersey ($1,000-$1,500). And for the truly flushed, Michael Jackson's actual motorcycle gaucho outfit from his Bad video,

which is expected to bring in somewhere between $30,000-$50,000. Yet

who's to say Jackson won't be there at the auction demanding back his

old wardrobe?

Note: Previews of figures in the catalog are by appointment only. These run April 13-18 and take place at the Hollywood Wax Museum and at its storage facilities in Newberry Park and Branson, MO. The auction begins May 1, 6:30 p.m. at Profiles in History, Suite 150, 26901 Agoura Rd., Calabasas Hills. Click links for details.

LA Weekly