Because we all apparently get a kick from playing Lilliputian for a day: last weekend at the Alameda County Fair, Nick Nicora of Ovation Food Services and Brett Enright of Juicy's, LLC attempted to set the Guinness World Record for the World's Largest Commercially Available Burger with a behemoth burger that weighed 777 pounds, or roughly the weight of a male elk or the hypothetical weight of a giant raptor. If and when the facts are verified by the Guinness World Records committee, this burger will have handily beat the previous record — 590 pounds — set last year by Canadian company Chef Events Canada, Inc.

As Nicora explained to CBS San Francisco, “The old record was held in Canada and we wanted to bring it home to America on the 4th of July.” If cooking up gargantuan quantities of food primarily for the purpose of beating a record set by a Canadian is not the definition of being an American, we do not what is.

More exciting, and a bit disgusting, facts about “Juicy's Outlaw Burger” after the jump.

The burger's bun reportedly weighed a hefty 110 pounds and the burger itself was dressed in over 50 pounds of toppings (onions, pickles, lettuce) and condiments. In total, the whopper was three feet thick, 5 feet in diameter, and contained 1,375,000 calories.

To win the record's title, Guinness World Records official rules require that the burger not only weigh more than the previous record-holder, but that it also “must be on menu and available to customers for at least one year.” Presumably to satisfy these requirements, the burger was deconstructed as quickly as it was constructed after the weigh-in, and slider bites were sold to fair attendees for 99 cents each. Proceeds benefitted the Alameda County Community Food Bank.

Until the records committee crowns Juicy's Outlaw Burger as the burger king of commercially available burgers, amuse yourself with these fully authenticated made-in-America world records: the World's Largest Hamburger weighed 2.74 tons and was concocted by a group in Montana. The World's Largest Sandwich weighed 5,440 pounds and was created by a restaurant in Michigan. And a Wisconsin man is responsible for eating the most Big Macs, ever (23,000 over a course of 37 years). Other than all that celebratory revelry after Bin Laden's death, we have never been prouder to be Americans.

LA Weekly