Last night's episode kicked off with a little humiliation, as we so love when they do. Kyle and husband Mauricio were getting ready for a trip to Napa for a 69-mile bike race that would raise money for cancer research. Kyle's preparation included hardcore training with an Olympic bicyclist, and of course, a hardcore bikini wax – a precaution suggested by her loving husband.
Could Mauricio have had ulterior motives for his advice? Maybe, considering it seemed like Kyle had never had a bikini wax in her life. Feeling too nervous to enter the waxing shop, she had the friendly workers at Queen Bee Waxing (coincidentally, our pick for best Brazilian in town) come to her house for a private session. Squealing and screaming from Kyle and incessant giggling from one of her many daughters hanging out in the peanut gallery ensued. And we just couldn't pass up using this picture. Thanks yet again, BravoTV.com.
In other news of discomfort, Lisa and permanent houseguest Cedric were forced to go to the DMV to get their American drivers licenses. (Lisa passed with flying colors. Cedric, however, failed, which puts him one step backward in his “quest” to finally move out of Lisa and Ken's house. Lisa suspects he may have failed on purpose. We are totally certain.)
Anyway, the point is, Lisa couldn't hide her revulsion for the DMV and its lowly inhabitants. “When you live in Beverly Hills,” she explains, “you tend to isolate yourself from the rest of Los Angeles.” We couldn't tell for certain, but we're pretty sure she and Cedric were at the West Hollywood branch. And here we were thinking that was one of the nicer ones. (There's no DMV anywhere in the Hills?) Lisa found herself fighting off paramours as she sat and crammed for the exam while waiting, and while she obviously was not used to the kind of come-ons the Formosa crowd puts forth, she handled herself pretty well.
The rest of the show focused on the ladies dropping a string of bombshells, some certainly creating a bigger dust cloud than others.
Over a romantic, pre-race dinner in Napa, Kyle gave notice that she'd like to have another baby. Mauricio, already having four college educations and four weddings to pay for, gave notice that's he'd like to retire someday.
Kim attempted to drop a fake bombshell on a potential new suitor, “Single Gary,” whom she met at the supermarket. Single Gary came over to Kim's for a barbecue, which was attended by her kids, their friends and their friends' babies, and Kim thought it would be hysterical to lead Gary to believe every child in the house was hers. “I'm still nursing,” she said totally straight-faced, as she bounced a borrowed 8-month-old on her knee that she told him was baby number 8. Gary exited pretty quickly. After he left, the family took a vote on whether or not Kim should date him. Because he's totally going to call.
The third and final, and by far most significant bombshell came from Taylor, who spoke at the 1736 Family Crisis Center celebrity poker tournament about growing up in an abusive home. Taylor let us know she rarely talks about her past, except with other survivors at the center, with whom she volunteers. Still, she was brave enough to confess it to the crowd, and though she had to fight back tears, she got through it, and our heart went out to her.
But ooooh man, was that poker tournament looking rough. “Celebrities” included Jennifer Elise Cox of the Brady Bunch Movie (“Marcia, Marcia, Marcia!”), washed up juicehead Jose Canseco and…Kato Kaelin? Anyone who turns out to raise funds should be commended, but hands down, Taylor was by far the biggest star there. Regardless of the fact that this series hadn't even aired yet.
Next week we have Camille's dinner party to look forward to, and all the explosive arguing and drama that goes with it. Until next week!
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