People have a fascination with penises. We draw them, make jokes about them, and we talk about dicks — a lot! Thus, in case you’re not saturated with enough penis topics, here are weird animal dicks that you can be engrossed by — because these peckers deserve to be discussed!

Here are some strange animal penis facts.

5 Weird Animal Dicks

1. The Detachable Penis

A guy losing their manhood can be a nightmare! But the Chromodoris reticulata (a type of sea slug) don’t seem to have a problem with that. Because these slugs are fortunate enough to have three penises. Once they’re done having sex, they shed one of their dicks — good thing they still have two more!

2. Moby Dick

Whales are majestic and colossal animals with big dick energy. That said, in case you needed another reason to admire them, whales are also “overachievers” — penis-wise. For instance, blue whales (earth’s current largest-known animal), have dicks that range from eight to ten feet in length; and their penises are highly flexible as they can wriggle in any direction. And their semen? They ejaculate around five gallons — in one go!

3. “Two Heads Are Better Than One”

Pythons are creatures that have two penis heads. This means that these snakes have a Y-shaped penis — also known as a “hemipenis.” Not only that, but python dicks are also spiky, hooked, or grooved. The reason for this is to attach their penis better inside the female snake’s vaginal opening (cloaca) to keep the gals from slithering away!

4. Dueling With Dicks

Marine flatworms are hermaphrodites (they have both a penis and a vagina) that duel with their fellow flatworms using their penises. The dick skirmish is done because it takes the flatworms more energy to produce an egg than sperm. Therefore, they find it necessary to be the male instead so they can get other flatworms pregnant — without them getting pregnant themselves. And when most of them want to be the man in the relationship, they battle it out using their dicks. As a result, the loser not only gets gravely injured from the “penis-fencing,” but they now also have to carry the champ’s baby!

5. The Spiky Swashbuckler

If marine flatworms aren’t getting a “dad of the year” award, bean weevils (a type of beetle) won’t be candidates for the “best husband ever” accolade — because they use their spiky dicks to injure their mates’ reproductive tracts (also known as traumatic insemination). The reason for this is to prevent the females from getting it on with other male bean weevils. Furthermore, injuring the females is also done to force them to do practically nothing else but take care of the kids! And when they’re forced to be a stay-at-home mom, they’re also left with little time and energy to flirt or “cheat” on their partners — thus, the male beetle’s bloodline will be preserved.

“Schlong” Story Short,

If there’s a dick pic you wouldn’t want to receive, it’s probably these weird animal dicks. They’re freakishly huge, they’re sometimes spiky, and some of them aren’t satisfied with having just one! As crazy as these penises look, we have evolution to thank for them being allowed to reproduce. As humans — with, apparently, “regular” penises — it’s our job to find ways in protecting these animals with weird dicks! — because we shouldn’t discriminate against odd penises!

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