Who needs centerfolds when you have charcuterie? Or salumi, to be more specific and a bit more, well, I don't know, centerfold-y. Thanks to American Salumi, you can now get a salumi calendar, supposedly the first of its kind. Technically it's the Year of the Rabbit now, and not the Year of the Pig, although there are many people who would credibly argue that every year is the year of the pig. Whatever. The calendar includes a resource guide for finding locally-made salumi, pretty pictures of proscuitto, etc., a Q & A with Armandino Batali (a terrific salumi maker and Mario's father, which explains a lot if you think about it) and a pullout centerfold salumi poster. Yes, the perfect wedding present for Hugh Hefner. Although I'm sure he doesn't need any more calendars. Or centerfolds.
You can order the calendar online at American Salumi. As for your guanciale and sopresatta, unless you have the kind of refrigerator that Jonathan Gold has, you can probably order that online too. The calendar will run you about 13 bucks; how much you spend on salumi is up to you and your cardiologist.