If you're planning to take your significant other — or your one-night stand — to the movies on Valentine's Day, think twice before you make the decision to see high-falutin' flix like The Hobbit or Lincoln. Neither trolls nor Mary Lincoln's pesky whining will get your partner in the mood for love, much less another date. Prep for amor wisely by watching the kookiest cinematic sex scenes of all time at Cinefamily's 100 Most Outrageous Fucks. Curated by head programmer Hadrian Belove with co-programmers Tom Fitzgerald and Bret Berg, the chosen copulation clips are top-secret. Come showtime the trio introduces the picks, which are divided into mini-montages. All bets are off in terms of what's defined as “outrageous.” For some, that could be watching Kim “Lassie” Cattrall have a howling good time (Porky's), or Marlon Brando's penchant for butter (Deep Throat) or—most disturbing — a favorite “Saved By the Bell” TV ingenue floundering water-gasmically in a pool affixed to Kyle McLachlan (Showgirls). So nix the flowers, the chocolates, the candlelight dinner. When it comes to this V-day show, there's only one downside: It's not at a drive-in. Cinefamily, 611 N. Fairfax Ave. Hlywd.; Thurs., Feb., 14, 10:30 p.m.; $12. (323) 655-2510, cinefamily.org.

Thu., Feb. 14, 10 p.m., 2013

LA Weekly