We don't know whether this was a Hilton Hotel exclusive or not, but everyone checking in received a special gift when they got their (Island/Def Jam/Mercury) keycard: a black and brown pillowcase with a screaming, crazy-looking eagle with its evil tongue sticking out and beady eyes staring into the distance. In big, bold letters above it, the name of the LA-based clothing company giving this to us: Affliction.

The fine print on the side of the pillow tells us that this pillow case was created out of an “authentic Affliction t-shirt made into a pillowcase.” Which is cool, repurposing and everything. And, yes, Affliction has succeeded in its mission of drawing attention to itself because we're writing about this now.

But say we use this pillow at home. Each time we lie down to go to sleep, our eyes still open and going over the day just passed, an evil eagle with its eyes penetrating into ours will be staring. And staring. When you roll over in the middle of the night and take your pillow on the ride with you, waking up for a second to look at the clock, the word you will see? AFFLICTION. Great. Affliction. Like we need a reason to start thinking about all the possible afflictions that could hit us or our loved ones during bouts of insomnia. Cancer. Lou Gehrig's Disease. Shingles. The flu. Herpes. Afflictions all, many of which could be launching an offensive on our body RIGHT NOW as insomnia takes hold.

Wake up in the morning, rise and shine — oh, and AFFLICTION.

A tree ... oh, and AFFLICTION; Credit: Randall Roberts

A tree … oh, and AFFLICTION; Credit: Randall Roberts

But then, this is the same outfit that put its big-ass banner, one that the company must have designed before seeing where it was to land — i.e. right behind a tree on 6th street.

Then again, that's two photos of their logo in this post — which is two more than the rest of the marketers working Austin this week got in … so … who's the dumb marketer here?

LA Weekly