Missed encounters: You—driving a white BMW with “CA Bunny” vanity plates, didn't use your turn signal. Me—aggro driver on my morning commute, politely calling you a “fuckface.” You on your cell phone logging in minutes, me logging the reasons I hate you: 1.) lack of blinker usage 2.) CA Bunny 3.) you don't know how to drive 4.) you're a dildo, batteries not included 5.) and you chafe 6.) and uh, wait, is that you getting out of the driver side? You trying to be tough. Me, pretending to be scared.
Call me. You're my reason for living.