Southern California Def Leppard Cover Band is NOT looking for a one-armed drummer.

The Texan Def Leppard cover band Pyromania, however, is looking for a one-armed drummer, reports our colleagues at fellow alt-weekly The Dallas Observer.

And, in case there are any doubts as to their authenticity or commitment to such a project, this drummer “Must have pro gear, flame retardent [sic] kit and stick. No dope fiends – if your [sic] wired your [sic] fired.” The spelling is perhaps understandable given that Texas has the second highest illiteracy rate in the country .

The Huntington Beach-based Def Leppard cover band, also named Pyromania, has more refined sensibilities (but not spellcheck) and has lambasted Texas' Pyromania, putting out an official statement that:

We wanted to set the record straight that we have nothing to do with this ad and we are not looking for a drummer and feel is is in VERY BAD TASTE!! We have much respect for Rick Allen and Def Leppard and We have a great love and honor for their music. Please do not confuse us with this complete discusting and disrespectful behaviour.

Oh, Huntington Beach-based Pyromania. You are emblematic of the still-declining quality of California's public schools. Even so, we look forward to seeing one of your shows.

LA Weekly