The Fabulous Forum reopened earlier this month. The Inglewood arena been re-imagined, from top to bottom! So what if it's owned by those dicks at Madison Square Garden Co.? The changes gave us an opportunity to behold it again, as if for the first time.
In fact, it got us thinking expansively. After all, since the dawn of history, humankind has required shelter. As we've wended our way out of jungles and swamps, each successive generation has aimed to perfect the form of the buildings that housed us. Our evolving psyches have left their indelible mark on those very structures. More than just a representation of the womb or the depths of Plato's cave, our buildings betray our own desire to remark at our own glory. A firm, pulsing glory that stretches back into human history.
There's Florence's Duomo. There's Peru's Machu Picchu. There's the Great Wall of China. All of these buildings have fused form with function and demonstrated our firm grip on architecture.
When it comes to performance venues, that is doubly true. And nothing epitomizes the perpetuation of mankind better than the Forum, whose thick, ribbed, hard texture illustrates just how far we've come as a species.
All right enough of this. Jesus, guys, come on – look at those things – what's up with the big giant red dicks? At least before, when they were blue, it was less obvious. Fucking grow up, guys. We're all adults here. The EAGLES just played there. You can't have the smoothest smooth rock band in history be surrounded by a bunch of raging boners, can you?