This should come as no surprise to anyone except maybe Charlie Sheen. But researchers concluded recently that being on drugs, smoking, drinking and overeating is bad for your sex life — especially for men.

Now, we know the cocaine makes you feel like a porn star, Charlie, but that's apparently all in your head.

Ask the experts at the Statens Serum Institut in Denmark, who say in a study published the Journal of Sexual Medicine that “unhealthy lifestyle factors were associated with sexual inactivity,” according to a summary of the findings:

Increased waistlines translated to 71 percent rate of bad (or no) sex for men. Dudes who used hard drugs increased that rate to 800 percent.

Women used hash (not a big thing here, but still) were three times as likely as non-drug-using women to have trouble reaching orgasm.

The study by Marten Frisch looked at 5,552 men and women ranging in age from 16 to 97.

The professor stateth:

Knowing about possible negative consequences of an unhealthy lifestyle to one's sexual health may help people quit smoking, consume less alcohol, exercise more, and lose weight.

We're starting a diet right now.

[@dennisjromero/djromero@laweekly.com]