Ah, Housewives and their ever-evolving definition of how to be a friend. So far this season we've learned that it's improper to start sentences with “I'm not your friend,” (thanks, Lisa) especially when offering up your mansion as a place of refuge from one's abusive husband. From Taylor, we learned the pearl of wisdom that is “If you can't be my friend, just please don't be my enemy.” Then, last night, Adrienne Maloof revealed her No. 1 friendship commandment: “Friends don't sue friends.” These are important rules to know if you want to get into Beverly Hills parties.

The party in question was Kyle and Mauricio's annual White Party (also known as the We're Gorgeous, Rich and Deliriously Happy, and We Totally Had This Idea Before P. Diddy Party). As the hired help busied themselves with preparations, Kyle received a disturbing call from Adrienne, informing her that Russell sent a nasty email to Camille threatening to sue her for revealing his abuse of Taylor on camera.

Fearing the wrath of Russell, Adrienne wasn't sure if she or any of the other Housewives still planned to show. But, in the end, all turned out. (Please, it's the White Party!)

Still, Adrienne was dead-set on barring the Armstrongs from attending. Kyle frantically tried to call Taylor to at least head her off at the pass, saving her the embarrassment of being turned away, but couldn't reach her.

What was with that, by the way? Yes, she and Russell were mid-flight back from Las Vegas for a time. (They flew in just for the White Party? Yeesh.) But did Taylor not once check her cell phone between plane and party? Could it be possible she had some inkling of why Kyle was frantically calling her?

But try as she might, Taylor wasn't answering, so Kyle, Mauricio, Adrienne, Paul, Lisa and Ken were left fluttering about the party in a general freak-out.

Meanwhile, despite her predilection for staying home and eating Cheetos, Kim actually showed up to this party and proceeded to act a fool. It was confusing, considering that in an earlier scene, Kim was shown having an articulate, non-slurred conversation with her daughters over lunch. But as soon as the sun went down (and boyfriend Ken showed up), it was coo-coo city. Curious.

Brandi Glanville (right), humoring Kim Richards (left).; Credit: bravotv.com

Brandi Glanville (right), humoring Kim Richards (left).; Credit: bravotv.com

First she coughed all over Lisa. Repeatedly. Like, ten times. It was gross and weird. Then she confronted Brandi about … we don't know. Not liking her? Kim was obviously still pissed about Brandi's crystal meth comment, but that didn't even come up. Instead Kim just criticized Brandi for having a trucker mouth that “doesn't make her look pretty.” You know what else doesn't make you look pretty? Coughing on people. For real, Kim.

Finally Taylor and Russell arrived, and the whole aforementioned freak-out crew met them at the door like a team of bouncers and told them they couldn't come in. Kyle cried; Paul yelled; Taylor put on her best “I had no idea” face. The Armstrongs left angry and humiliated (well, at least Taylor was). And despite Kyle's pleas for understanding, Taylor gave none.

Russell defended the email to his wife as their limo drove away, saying he sent it because Camille's statements had been an out-and-out lie. You caught Taylor's eyeroll at the end there, right? Yeah, we did too.

Follow Ali Trachta on Twitter at @MySo_CalLife and for more arts news follow @LAWeeklyArts.

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