See also: *Our Real Housewives archives
1. Brandi Glanville (Last week: 2)
We don't say this about Brandi very often, but last night, she was a class act. Class. act. The most recent episode of RHOBH captured her sit-down with Scheana Marie, current waitress at SUR Lounge and budding reality star on Vanderpump Rules, as well as former lovejuice receptacle for Brandi's ex-husband Eddie Cibrian.
In case you hadn't heard, when it was revealed Eddie was having an affair with Leann Rimes, the jilted Scheana Marie took her tears to Access Hollywood to make sure the world knew that she, too, was bangin' the C-lister. And a good thing she did, in a way, since Brandi says Eddie claimed Leann was just a one-time thing.
Still, that doesn't make meeting your husband's former mistress a day at the spa.
Brandi could have lashed out. She could have called Scheana every cruel name in the book. Hell, she coulda popped her one. But instead, Brandi heard Scheana out and allowed her to apologize for her role in the affair, but still managed to oh-so-perfectly cut her down by saying something like “Look at where you are in your life, and look where I am. I mean, I win.” You do, Brandi. You do.
Then Brandi almost semi-affectionately tapped her on the shoulder. Look how terrified Scheana looks!
2. Lisa Vanderpump (Last week: 5)
Remember that moment of Beverly Hills, 90210 when Kelly Taylor started dating Jake Hanson from Melrose Place then made a couple of appearances on this spinoff in an attempt to drag viewers over to the new show? Last night, Lisa Vanderpump basically did that, and we have a feeling it was probably a pretty successful tactic.
Though the episode was billed as a two-hour RHOBH special, that was a total lie. It was one hour of Housewives with a second hour of the Vanderpump Rules premiere — the spinoff that follows Lisa and her band of sexy, brooding, maybe a little slut-tastic waitstaff over at SUR Lounge. (Including Scheana Marie! Who somehow managed to come out the underdog on that show. That girl's got skills.)
It's like you couldn't not watch. You'd already committed to the two hours. Well played, Bravo.
3. Taylor Armstrong (Last week: 4)
Taylor gets major points for having the strength to give away her 10-karat wedding ring, which was obviously a gift from her late husband Russell Armstrong, as a means to settle her 1.5 million dollar lawsuit. Apparently, said lawsuit was perpetuated by a former friend whom Russell owed money. Not only did this friend take the lady's wedding ring, he also requested two Hermes bags. What kind of douche is this guy?
4. Adrienne Maloof/Kyle Richards/Kim Richards
Eh…these three kind of tie for insignificant this week. All we got from Adrienne was some nonsense about her skincare line. Kyle did some yoga, and Kim didn't even show. (She's too busy hanging out at cigar bars, apparently.) When a Housewife/mistress showdown is going on, we just don't have time for crap like this.
5. Yolanda Foster (Last week: 7)
Oh my gawd Yolanda please fall of the map. You're seriously going to tell your model daughter that she can't play volleyball? We can't take you.
6. Marisa Zunuck (Last week: Not ranked)
Marisa should not even be making this list, but we had to call her out for making a whopping two brief appearances on RHOBH and naming herself a Real Housewife of Beverly Hills on her Twitter page. C'mon now, Marisa.