Here's the one main lesson we've learned from RHOBH so far this season: do not say the word “cock” around the Housewives. If you do, even as a joke, you will be iced out to such a degree that no one will want to play Charades with you. Newcomer Brandi Glanville learned this the hard way. Here's how it went down:
Dana Wilkey of the famous $25,000 sunglasses decided to host “Game Night” at her house and invited over all the Housewives to play, but really to marvel at her Valentino outfit and Fendi shoes, which she conveniently “labeled” to everyone as they walked in the door.
Both Lisa and Adrienne weaseled out of attending, but Brandi, Kyle, Kim, Taylor and Camille all made reluctant appearances. Kyle and Brandi were early and stuck in a room alone together to twitch. Why does Brandi make Kyle so uncomfortable? Because she said the word “cock” one time at a barbecue. Now Kyle just doesn't know how to act.
Eventually the rest of the gaggle arrived and a game of Celebrity ensued, and may we just say it was the name-droppiest, most ridiculous Beverly Hills version of this game we've ever seen. Normally one player pulls a famous person's name from a hat and describes them, as in they were in this movie or this TV show or what not. The RHOBH game went like this:
“Oh my God, he's my ex-boyfriend!”
“Ooo, she's the niece of some people in this room!”
“Ooo ooo ooo! He had us over for dinner last week!”
“[Insert answer here.]”
-Not sure. We were too busy laughing to catch it.
The award for most ridiculous celebrity clue went to Brandi, who was supposed to be describing Winston Churchill: “He's a famous black man who's not Martin Luther King.”
Anyhow, the real mystery of game night was Kim. She was last to arrive, and when she did, she brought all sorts of baggage — literally, in that she had sacks of makeup and toiletries with her and figuratively, in that she was a hot, disheveled, anxiety-ridden mess. She was making little sense (calling hostess Dana “Pam,” for one) and generally acting like she'd just stepped off the crazy train.
Kim's rumored to have issues with alcohol, so naturally Kyle was concerned, and spent much time with her sister in the bathroom tending to her/evaluating her behavior.
As Kyle attempted to fix Kim's makeup, Kim confessed to being riddled with panic attacks, and not having slept or eaten for seven days. So she's not intoxicated, and that would certainly explain the erratic behavior, right?
Well, Brandi Glanville wasn't buying it. And frankly, neither was anyone else in attendance, but Brandi was the only one ballsy enough to say something. Perhaps feeling wounded from Kyle's earlier cold shoulder, or from Kim emphatically declaring she didn't want to be on her Celebrity team, Brandi called out Kim for being “wasted,” which sent the Richards sisters into a synchronized dance of defensiveness:
Was Kim wasted? The world may never know. But we do know from previews that this fight's not over, and unless Brandi comes up with some choreography, we're pretty sure she's not going to win. Until next week.