Billboard reports an amazing tale concerning rapper The Game's Christmas shopping misadventures at a local mall. Apparently Game and his associate Avante Rose (also, apparently a Tila Tequila associate) were at the Westfield Topanga Mall in Canoga Park last Friday and they left their vehicles in the care of the mall's valet parkers. Oh, apparently Avante Rose's car had within it a Louis Vuitton (of course) duffel bag with $75,000 and a couple of (presumably gold) chains. When the car was returned Vuitton-less, Game and Avante Rose raised a stink, and some bad stuff with cops, strategically placed palm trees and accusations of racism and grand larceny ensued. Why don't we let The Game unspool the tale in his own inimitable Twitterspeak?:

“So, heres my day,” quoth The Game. “Tried 2 do last minute shoppin 4 da kids & valet stole a Louis Duffle out @avanterose 's car & we 2 chains & $75,000 short. So police come & guess who get patted down ? Yea, US !!! then they tell us da palmtree was blocking the crime scene on the tape.

Topanga Mall “Nordstroms” valet is janky as F*CK !!! They gotta a lil stealing ring goin, PARKS YA OWN SH*T from now on! They aint seen the last of us tho. Soon after xmas is over….IT'S ON you thieving mothaf*ckas !!! If u dont get a gift tomorrow THAT'S WHY & me or @avanterose couldnt do sh*t cuz both are dumb ass's on parole.

Ole' Yes officer, No officer ass n!ggas we was!!! Then after 4 hrs of no answers we drivin off & da most racist of all da cops gone say: “Thats a sweet ride man”. WHAT ?!? B!tch, investigate. Nordstroms talmbout the palmtree was in the way of the crime scene……..

Mothaf*cka please ! #WearAREsh*tat. $75,000 dollar lesson learned. Merry X-Mas to all & to all a goodnight.”

LA Weekly