In an unlikely twist of solidarity, the Los Angeles Unified School District has arrived at a similar solution to a troubling spree of gay teen suicides as the true maestro of L.A. youth — celebrity blogger Perez Hilton.
For the good of the children, both have promised to play on their strong points. The district will be handing out nerdy informational packets and “Safe School Kits” (you know, just to make sure closeted high-schoolers feel as awkward as possible amid chortling peers), while Hilton will be ridding his blog of all mean-spirited remarks, as expressed in a self-absorbed video he posted on October 13.
“I want to make the world a better place,” he announced. Even — get this — if it means less traffic for his gossip rag.
Now that's commitment.
The Contra Costa Times reported on the LAUSD initiative last week:
“Working with the Gay, Lesbian, Straight Education Network, district officials said they plan to launch an information campaign this month that will include handing out some 1,500 “Safe School Kits” to local secondary schools to create safer environments for lesbian, gay, bisexual and transgender students.”
Hilton's kit comes in YouTube form, making it — for better or worse — far more likely be absorbed by today's troubled youth.
“I need to be the change that I want to see,” says Hilton in the exclusive video, looking like he just took a double shot of Windex. “I don't think it's right to make fun of kids anymore … So starting today, things will be different on my website.”
Maybe LAUSD will even lend him one of their shiny new “Safe Zone” stickers for his gallery of Lindsay Lohan crotch shots. Hey, one step at a time.