As all PBS Anglophiles know, the highly anticipated second season of Downton Alley aired last night. (6 days, X minutes to go until the next one…) Why do we care? Because we're all secret monarchists who would trade every taco truck and empanada stand in this town for a sitdown cup of tea and toast with any random member of the English aristocrasy, right? Well, maybe Maggie Smith. To mark the occasion, Patton Oswalt live-tweeted the event. Because he could and because he is funny.

And now, in order of most recent first, Patton Oswalt's Downton Alley tweets, or a goodly number of them. Check out the complete series on Oswalt's Twitter page. So much comedy, so little time. As for whether this is technically about food and drink, well everything English is about cups of tea anyway, isn't it. And there are a surprising amount of tweets that do involve food (“Damn, Maggie Smith refuses sauce like a GANGSTA!”), so whatever. Oh, and as a point of reference, watch Oswalt's take on KFC.

Well, DOWNTON ABBEY's done my head in. Now @timheidecker is showing me Season 2 of CHECK IT OUT w/ DR. STEVE BRULE. #broats

“I never had an Anna to braid MY hair.” — Willie Nelson, feeling maudlin on the tour bus. #DowntonPBS

Edith just threw down in a 1916 equivalent of Russ Meyers' SUPERVIXENS. #DowntonPBS

Sorry ladies, for the earlier Molesley tweet. And Molesley? You do NOT mack on Bates' shorty. #TeamBates #DowntonPBS

“My hobbies are croquet, pressing flowers and failing to say what I mean.” — Mary. #DowntonPBS

May I make a prediction? Matthey Crawley marries Mary and becomes the first host of the DAILY SHOW. #DowntonPBS

Mary is wearing a dress TWICE?!?! Well, there IS a war on. #DowntonPBS

“I may not be your superior in a Mayfair ballroom…” I have GOT to use that sometime. SOON. #DowntonPBS

Goddamit, now I like Thomas again. #DowntonPBS

“I pulled a child's belly skin over my bare skull for this walk. I hope you don't mind.” — Sir Richard. #DowntonPBS

I wish I'D had a Carson when I was a gorgeous, 21 year-old heiress! #DowntonPBS

“MAIDS in the dining room? This is like watching FACES OF DEATH.” — @timheidecker, just now. #DowntonPBS

Oh FUCK you, Edith! Fuck your crappy, peplum-effect plum dress and HELP CARSON! #DowntonPBS

Damn, Maggie Smith refuses sauce like a GANGSTA! #DowntonPBS

I forgot how much I love British people's pronunciation of “left-enant.” #DowntonPBS

Smashing show, Thomas: I fucking hate you again. #DowntonPBS

I want to see The Dowager Countess & O'Brien in a Withering Stare Cage Match. #DowntonPBS

@beautifullions: You're not gonna start wearing #TeamCarson T-shirts? // They'd clash with my #TeamDowager thong. #DowntonPBS

Wait, did they hire H.P. Lovecraft as the new Downton valet? #MrLang #DowntonPBS

Everyone in Mumford and Sons wishes they had that farmer's hat. #DowntonPBS

Mr. CARSON, what are you pulling on?!?! Oh, a wine work. Sorry. Never mind. #DowntonPBS

“Will this war effect my hat choices?” — every woman in the village. #DowntonPBS

And for the rest of them, check out Oswalt's Twitter feed, which we'll be reading with our cup of tea next Sunday night and, probably, every following one.

LA Weekly