And you thought your love life was tricky.

An informal poll of people who are actively dating right now will tell you that the modern dating scene is a tricky place—but dating as an OnlyFans creator? Significantly trickier. Successfully walking the emotional tightrope between digital intimacy and real-life romance is a task that requires not only balance, but some very strict boundaries. Boundaries aren’t just generally a good idea—they’re absolutely essential if creators want to keep their incomes and their romantic relationships intact.

For OnlyFans creators, the dating struggle is very real. Potential partners often fall into the trap of viewing the content creator they’re dating as a thing rather than a person, and forget that she’s an autonomous human who is ultimately in charge of who does and doesn’t have access to her time and attention. New boyfriends frequently don’t understand the difference between “content” and “cheating,” and the emotional labor that goes into teaching partners about sex work—and the digital boundaries that have to be enforced in order to keep work separate from real life—is quite the task. One Reddit user states, “It takes a lot of maturity from a partner to separate your online persona from your real-life self.” Not only is that the case, but content creators who date often run the risk of being fetishized by their romantic partners, or their partner secretly subscribing to their page in order to “spy” on them.

So how do OnlyFans creators set and establish boundaries between their romantic relationships and the work that they do? A few more common examples:

  • No partner access to OnlyFans accounts or private messages: it’s like attorney-client privilege, but with content creators.
  • No involving partners in content creation unless it has been explicitly agreed upon: while there are some content-creating couples who are involved romantically, unless both parties have agreed that that’s a thing they want to participate in together, it’s a good idea to keep personal relationships off of OnlyFans.
  • Keeping financials and scheduling private: this is also just a good safety tip in general for content creators. Subscribers having access to a creator’s net worth and her schedule can get very dangerous very quickly.
  • Keeping work life and romantic life separate: making sure that what is spicy in the bedroom isn’t what is being featured on camera is one way that many content creators keep a degree of separation between their personal romantic lives and their content creation business. No “bringing content into the bed,” if you will.

Says one OnlyFans creator on Reddit, “My page is my business. My boyfriend doesn’t ask to sit in on Zoom meetings, so why would he need to see my DMs?” For content creators, boundaries are about professionalism and protecting their clients and their business—not about secrecy or trying to hide things from a significant other.

Many OnlyFans creators report encounters with jealousy in their romantic relationships, and having to learn how to navigate this normal—but manageable—response from a significant other. Content creators are often the most transparent partners on the dating market simply because they’ve learned that complete openness with one’s significant other is the best way to reduce unnecessary suspicion. For OnlyFans creators, having honest conversations early on in a relationship about the type of content they create, how they navigate fan interactions, and what their goals are for their business is the only way to ensure that trust is built between their romantic partner and themselves. Some creators even involve their partner when setting boundaries around their OnlyFans work in order to further nurture the trust in their relationship.

While dating as an OnlyFans content creator can be difficult, models have reported that when a relationship works, it really works. One Redditor’s boyfriend won’t consume her content and stays uninvolved in her content creation, but he’s the one who helps set her lights before she gets to work. “He doesn’t want to be in the content, but he’ll bring me a snack between shoots. That’s love.”

The difference between curiosity and control can be a fine line, and one that can only be walked when both parties involved understand that support doesn’t mean surveillance. Few things are sexier than mutual respect and clear communication, and OnlyFans creators have to learn quickly how to balance online personas and offline love lives. It takes work, fierce enforcement of boundaries, and not being afraid to have grown-up conversations that can get a little sticky sometimes. When pursuing a content creator romantically, it’s important to remember that sex work is work—and loving someone doesn’t require full creative control. If you want to maintain a successful relationship with a creator? Best to stay out of her inbox.