Bad news. I just got an e-mail announcing that Evanescence are not only together, but have a record coming out in October. (I would have written “Rocktober,” but Evanescence don’t really deserve that, do they?)

In other bad news, I want to point out that the post-emo band Hawthorne Heights stole their name from an ill-fated Warner Bros. drama. You know, Hawthorne Heights, the Dawson’s Creek spinoff where the gay kid goes to grad school.

Indie 103.1 still doesn’t have a morning drive-time DJ to replace the fired Dicky Barrett. It’s funny: People who hated Barrett when he was on the air now miss the heck out of him. Apparently, morning radio is harder than it sounds.

I know how Indie likes its ’90s celebs, so I thought of some truly beloved people I have missed lately. I just know they’d all kick major ass as morning hosts. Or, like, you could rotate ’em.

1.Chris Rock. Think about it. You would listen to Chris Rock in the morning. You know you would. You would even want him to choose his own music. You would want to hear Chris Rock playing Elvis. And, obviously, he has a great rock-DJ name.

2. Dream team:Scary Spice & Marilyn Manson. Boo! Manson was a Spice Girls fan, and it’s obvious these two share a lot: glam rock, KISS, makeup, camp, dry wit, and a certain intolerance for intolerance. Plus, c’mon. I see Scary Spice at Mayfair; and I’m going to hazard a guess MM isn’t doing much lately.

3. Sifl & Olly. The erstwhile sock puppets of MTV’s Sifl & Olly have been silent too long, as has their friend Chester, who is a flower.

Their co-creator Liam Lynch is busy making movies now (Jesus Is Magic; the forthcoming Tenacious D film), but the world still needs Sifl & Olly, and they’d make swingin’ radio hosts. And I bet they’d play fantastic music.

4. Wanda Sykes & Rabbi Jack. We could use some more Wanda Sykes in the world. I know she’s more of a nighttime type of comedian, but that’s precisely why she’d be perfect on Indie in the morning. And Rabbi Jacob Pressman, a.k.a. Rabbi Jack, the elderly Beverly Hills Courier columnist (author of the classic two-part essay collection, This Wild and Crazy World As Seen From Beverly Hills), really hasn’t gotten the attention he deserves. Think about it. If you had to hear another Beck interview, say, would you prefer to hear Nic Harcourt interviewing Beck about metatextual bossa nova, or Wanda Sykes & Rabbi Jack interviewing Beck about, oh, anything? Yes, that’s right. You would rather hear Wanda Sykes & Rabbi Jack interviewing Beck about his favorite sandwiches.

If you rotated these four teams on a weekly basis, you would have one hell of a listenable morning drive time.

Myself, I don’t wake up early enough to listen. Then again, I might, if I had a good-enough reason. Wait, I’ve got it: Jack Black & Rabbi Jack! Just saying it is fun.

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