Hate to give loonies like Florida resident Sylvia Schenatzky free yellow journalism, but her new e-book on an alleged series of clairvoyant conversations with Michael Jackson since his 2009 death is too hilarious to pass up.

“He kept saying that he wanted me to believe and that he needed my help,” Schenatzky says in her own press release, calling herself a “diminutive blonde.” Off to a good start.

As the story goes…

Jackson contacted Schenatzky from the grave, calling her “Lilly” after a “sister in a past life” — “the only one who could deliver his message.” But the sisterly love gets scary incestual in a brand-new Jackson track (!) that the artist supposedly “channeled” to the self-proclaimed psychic.

From the book:

I am the light of the world – This is his way of him telling me he can see and be anywhere in the universe at any given moment and he wants people to know about this immense love he can feel.

I know this for sure it is real – This is the love between Michael and me that is real. This is not a fake love because I was falling in love with him every day.

It feels like I have seen your face a thousand times – Michael continues to tell me that he knew me in a past life. I was his sister and he called me Lilly which is what the lyric means, he knew my face immediately from a previous life.

You really have me to yourself – This love we shared was strictly between us and no one else knew or understood what was happening.

I know you are addicted with your eyes – I was totally addicted to him so much so my family would say I was “MJ addicted.” I would watch and listen to every interview, show, telecast, movie on television about Michael. It really was like I was addicted to a drug but it was Michael I was addicted to.

Yikes. Not only is the King of Pop incapable of writing a song this terrible, but Lilly's “channel” is chock full of psychotic-fan red flags — totally outing her as an attention whore with an unhealthy obsession. We recommend she seek treatment immediately. As for the rest of us, we're not sure we'll ever recover from reading this alleged poem from Jackson to Elizabeth Taylor. Last line: “If I can comfort you/ Don't be afraid/ When you feel my arms on your shoulders.” =(


LA Weekly