After being invited to the White House on Friday for a roundtable discussion on issues pertaining to the Latino community, inside sources confirm that L.A. Mayor Antonio Villaraigosa has not yet left the premises.
At press time, the Secret Service's attempts to remove the Los Angeles mayor had entered the 36th hour.
“I want to thank President Obama for kindly welcoming me back into my home away from home,” Villaraigosa Tweeted from somewhere within the White House. “I'm thinking I may stick around this time. #DreamTeam.”
But once authorities arrived to his geotagged location, according to our sources, the mayor had disappeared.
President Obama released the following statement to the American people, assuring them that the mayor of Los Angeles would soon be located and returned to City Hall:
“The United States has been inspired by Villaraigosa's dedication to securing the Latino vote for the 2013 election. However, the United States strongly condemns his prolonged presence on the White House premises. The United States strongly opposes the use of force to remove Villaraigosa, and has consulted closely with allies and partners from the region and around the world to determine the best way to talk him down. The United States hopes this standoff can end peacefully and diplomatically. The United States also wishes to request that Villaraigosa, if he can hear this, stop getting greasy fingerprints all over the furniture.”
Around 4 p.m. on Saturday, multiple tourists confirmed that a man by Villariagosa's description had been lingering on the fringes of their White House tour group.
“Oh, that guy with the creepy grin?” said Margory Green, a New York City resident on the tour. “He kept taking arm-out photos of himself next to the presidential portraits and posting them to his Twitter account.”
LA Weekly secured an exclusive interview with first daughter Malia Obama, who said she saw the mayor lurking by himself later that night in the Green Drawing Room.
“Awkward,” said the 14-year-old.
One of seven full-time staffers in the mayor's press office who wished to remain anonymous said Villaraigosa was considering taking up legal residency in the White House, perhaps in a “shadow” position under President Obama.
“The mayor can really relate to the president — on so much more than just the birth-certificate issue,” said the City Hall employee. “This might be a great opportunity for them to bond in a more intimate setting.”
Meanwhile, back in Los Angeles, the city's budget deficit rose above 220 million, thousands more potholes began to take shape and Occupy L.A. protesters reclaimed the City Hall lawn.