You know the old Thanksgiving turkey hotline? We always imagined rows and rows of expert turkey-makers manning phones like the Jerry Lewis telethon, ready to answer your burning (or, hopefully just golden brown) bird questions. Actually, that's pretty much how it works, we think. But like Mario Batali, Martha Stewart is giving the old model an upgrade, using Twitter to source your last-minute Thanksgiving queries. Tweeters need only save room in their 140 characters for an #AskMartha hastag, and whatever you're dying to know, Martha will, at least hopefully, graciously address on her radio show.

But of course, this opens the floodgates. What would you really ask Martha if you knew she were listening? Perhaps something about how to make the best stuffing. But wouldn't it be more fun to seek her expertise on an existential crisis? Whatever works. After the jump, check out our 10 favorite #AskMartha tweets.

10. @Fearlicious: It's a good question, really. Martha Stewart knows how to add just that perfect amount of pretention that inspires homemakers to greatness while maintaining her rightful place as queen.

9. @CapitalEdge: Chiming in, though somehow we think this is going a bit far.

8. @Bebjrb: A thinly veiled attempt at begging for scraps.

7. @BruinChick: What's next, doggy showers?

6. @DJJAYLEW: Holla atcha boy, Marthaaaa!

5. @RealPrincessKim: #sadface #xanax

4. @CraveBrosCheese: We bet you'd like to know, CraveBros. Shameless self-promotion much?

3.@ShiningEarth: Oooo, now that's below the belt. Martha's paid her debt to society. Leave her alone.

2. @RickyWei: Oh no you di-int! It's an etiquette throwdown. Ricky's calling Martha OUT.

And our #1 favorite #AskMartha tweet is…

1. @Fearlicious Yet again: Doubtful, but hang in there.

Follow Ali Trachta on Twitter @MySo_CalLife.

LA Weekly