As usual, there were a bevy of bare boobies on the runways during LA Fashion Week a couple weeks ago, and it got me thinking- why does anybody get boob jobs anymore? After all, clothing falls so much better on small chests. And Playboy models aside, it's so much more chic to be a member of the itty bitty titty committee.

I was always satisfied with my mid-sized 34 B's and now that I'm a breast-feeding mama with ample 36 Ds (yes Ds!) I am none too happy. Low cut blouses look downright vulgar, and all my vintage tops and dresses barely zip up the back.

So when I got a product review sample of “Fashion Stick Push Up Cups” in the mail I thought, hell no! Then I remembered that I did need something to wear under for all my strapless and spaghetti-straped frocks. Would these sticky cutlets give the girls the support they need right now?

Unfortunately the anwer is no. Push-Up Cups, which adhere to your clothing, not your skin, are solely for the gal who wants a bigger bustline. In fact on the box it says to wear with bra or a “shelf top” for best results.

I tried them with a tank and a few dresses and the problem is your humps (See Linda's post below!) don't really stay put, which, with minimal activity, means you just could end up looking like ya got 4 boobies all in different places. Not cute.

Thousands of women swear by these things according to the brochure, especially brides to be who need to “fill out” their gowns, but the only clothing items they looked right on for me were empire waist pieces, which have a seam (the shelf) near the ribcage to hold them in place. Still, the improvement wasn't all that dramatic.

Padded bras are good enough (Victoria's Secret Embrace rocks), and really, when you get to the point of putting foreign objects in your bra –whether it be cutlets or socks for that matter- isn't it just false advertising?

Still, if you're looking for a little lift, the manufacturer has all kinds of other enhancement products with names like “Iron-a-Cup”, “Perma Cups” and “Adhere A Cup.” If yours runeth over like mine, the last ones seem the way to go.

Check it 'em out here.

Oh, and speaking of boobages, check out this week's Nightranger, where I get into the litterbox with a brief history of the Pussycats Dolls, give ya the buzz on Buzznet.com and so much more.

Ta-Ta (s)!

LA Weekly