Michele StuevenImagine a feminist dating show for straight women that has resulted in hookups, lasting friendships, wedding engagements, and a whole new understanding of the dynamic between men and women. It’s called Love Isn’t Blind and the premise – and perhaps key to the traveling show’s success – is that the men have to keep their mouths shut throughout the entire process.
It’s the brainchild of comedian Allison Goldberg, who kicked off her first show at the Crow in Santa Monica two years ago and is now selling out venues across the country including New York, Portland, Seattle, San Francisco, Chicago, Washington, D.C., and San Diego. She’s taken up a permanent home at The House of Cocotte in L.A.’s Arts District.
“The idea for it came from two places,” says Goldberg, who carefully vets the bachelors and bachelorettes. “I wanted to create something rowdy post pandemic where people could meet each other. We all felt extreme screen fatigue and I wanted something in-person. Dating lends itself to that.”
Upon entering the show, everybody in the audience gets a wristband that represents relationship status: green if you’re single, red if you’re taken, yellow if you’re confused, and there’s also poly purple and bisexual blue.
Love Isn’t Blind (Courtesy Allison Goldberg)
“Reason two is that my girlfriends and I would sit around and complain about going on dates with men who would just talk about themselves for the entire date and not ask us anything about ourselves,” says the bubbly comedian. “I thought, ‘what if I do a whole show where men shut the fuck up.’ It was those two things combined.”
The bachelorette is then introduced and bragged on. She gets to bring her bestie up on stage with her to ease any nerves or awkwardness, followed by an introduction of the men.
That’s when the shenanigans kick in.
Both sides can see each other the whole time, except for round one when the men are blindfolded because it’s a yes or no round. In round two Goldberg gets them to do something crafty in the “hearts and crafts” round, like draw their dream first date or write poems about the date they’re going to take her on. Then she calls their moms with embarrassing questions, searches their phones, and in the final round she tests the straight men’s listening skills. They have to ask the bachelorette a question based on something they learned about her.
“Yesterday I searched a guy’s notes and he had written out “handshake,” Goldberg says of the game show format. “Last week in Seattle I searched a guy’s phone and he had watched porn that day. I read all the titles of the porn and the last one he watched was interracial porn. He was Black and the bachelorette was white. I’ve also searched Amazon purchases, which have come up with things like Magnum condoms. One time I searched a guy’s phone and found that he writes poems in his notes app, so I read one of his poems to the crowd. I search Audible for what they’re listening to and I love doing browser history. Sometimes I’ll ask for a word from the audience and search their text for that word.”
Phone search (Courtesy Allison Goldberg)
Goldberg says the show has become about positive masculinity. With so much talk about toxic masculinity, she wanted to find nice guys to do the show.
“It’s hard to find people because they think I’m going to roast them,” she says. “But it’s much more of a toast show than a roast show. I want everyone to look and feel amazing and have a good time. My goal is to take care of everyone. I want it to be a show for nice, normal people with real jobs. I don’t want influencers and fuck boys.”
Love Isn’t Blind has taught Goldberg a lot about herself and men as well. She’s single and has retired from the dating scene (unless of course somebody really great comes along). But for now, she’s having more fun running other people’s lives.
“This show has made me so much more positive about men,” she says. “At first I thought it was a bad idea to create this show because I was so jaded about dating and had been on a thousand horrible dates. Now I’m interviewing these nice guys all day. Some men will say beautiful things about what they’re looking for in a partner, like mutual support, a love of adventure, and close family ties. I also experience firsthand the bullshit that women do, so it’s leveled the playing field for me. Humans suck and are great at the same time. That’s why dating is hard.”
Courtesy Allison Goldberg