After last week's April Fools Joke(s) about changes in Los Angeles nightclubs, it seems some felt the need to enlighten us: apparently, there are actually dance clubs in LA that don't have bottle service or hot chick entry ratios or DJs lacking in music history knowledge! To take a word from the current pop culture lexicon, “DUH!” That was kind of the point. The clubs we choose to spotlight -including the very parties mentioned in last week's April 1st column- rarely do! Sometimes a biggie DJ is worth paying $20 for entry, another for parking, nearly that for a drink and then enduring a douchebag-drenched crowd, but for the most part, our picks are about the whole experience: the atmosphere, the music and the people likely to be sweating it up on the floor with you. Of course, you never know for sure going out in LA, but that's part of the fun too.

Here are Lina Lecaro's Top Dance/DJ Picks for This Weekend (and Beyond):

Friday, April 8

The name Fuzzy might refer to a lot of things at Cody Bayne and Mario Diaz' mixed monthly (your vision after a few drinks, bare chests in need of manscaping) but one thing that becomes very clear at this flam-BOY-ant affair, the pair know how to throw a par-tay. This month's midnight performance comes courtesy of the performer considered by many -us included- to be “the world's best drag queen”: Jackie Beat. DJs Dingo and Strangemachine spin hump-happy sounds all night. Selene Luna and “The Monkeys” host. At Three Clubs, 1123 Vine St.; $5.

Diplo is quite the jokester (at least on Twitter), but there's nothing silly about his production/re-mix/DJ work (except maybe those bootie-bumpin' Major Lazer videos). Lo is easily one of the dance music's biggest stars thanks to ML's hold on dance floors internationally, his M.I.A. work, Mad Decent label, and those pervasive Blackberry commercials. Work with popstars (Beyonce is apparently latest) might keep him busy these days, but the club is still where he goes off. Join him at Departure, along with Destructo (Hard), Mad Decent's Jillionaire, Paul Devro & Benzona and more. At Vanguard, 6021 Hollywood Blvd. More info. here.

Saturday, April 9

Another heavy-hitting decksmith, DJ Neil Armstrong, drops into LA for

Felonious Funk, a new one at The Burgundy House (formerly Jimmy's Lounge; El Centro before that). Armstrong is Adidas' “Global Music Ambassador” and a vet on the A-lister party circuit. The DJ's mixtape work provides a nice sampling of the skills, but moving bodies live – via furious scratching and old/new soul/funk/hip-hop mashing- is what the NYC club banger does best. Also with Al Jackson (Soul Children) and Thorobredren (Sookah City All-Stars). At 6202 Santa Monica Blvd. More info here.

Thursday- April 14

LA's outrageous fashion posse, the Omega Collektiv (along with Dystopian Studios and Liquid City), debut a new prancer/dancer called Club Impulse, tonight. The club kids known for their Modern Romantix parties (and more recently the “Glass Door” gathering inside Red Zebra) throw fantastical fetes and this one featuring DJs Das Kadett, Job Leatherette and Amanda Jones spinning Dirty House, Electro Dark Minimal, and Industrial Danse Beats should be no exception. Eye candy includes “Gogo Gynoids” Chrome Girl and Disco Dolly, plus performance art and posing from Virgo Rising and Rockie Raccoon. “Xtreame” looks get in free, so dress to impress “door judge” Walki-Talki! At Boardners, 1652 North Cherokee Ave ; over 18. More info here.

Follow Lina Lecaro on Twitter at @L_in_A

LA Weekly