After last week's April Fools' joke about changes in L.A. nightclubs, it seems some felt the need to enlighten us: Apparently, there are actually dance clubs in L.A. that don't have bottle service or hot-chick entry ratios or DJs lacking in music-history knowledge! To take a word from the current pop culture lexicon, “Duh!” That was kind of the point. The clubs we choose to spotlight — including the very parties mentioned in last week's April 1 column — rarely do!

Sometimes a biggie DJ is worth paying $20 for entry, another for parking, nearly that for a drink and then enduring a douchebag-drenched crowd, but for the most part, our picks are about the whole experience: the atmosphere, the music and the people likely to be sweating it up on the floor with you. Of course, you never know for sure going out in L.A., but that's part of the fun, too. Here are some picks that should provide the whole package this week.

Fri., April 8: The name Fuzzy might refer to a lot of things at Cody Bayne and Mario Diaz's mixed monthly (your vision after a few drinks, bare chests in need of manscaping), but one thing becomes clear at this flam-BOY-ant affair: The pair know how to throw a par-tay. This month's midnight performance comes courtesy of the performer considered by many — us included — to be “the world's best drag queen”: Jackie Beat. DJs Dingo and Strangemachine spin hump-happy sounds all night. Selene Luna and “The Monkeys” host. Three Clubs, 1123 Vine St.; $5;

Diplo is quite the jokester (at least on Twitter), but there's nothing silly about his production/remix/DJ work (except maybe those bootie-bumpin' Major Lazer videos). Lo is easily one of dance music's biggest stars thanks to ML's hold on dance floors internationally, his work with M.I.A., Mad Descent label and those pervasive BlackBerry commercials. Working with pop stars (Beyoncé is apparently the latest) might keep him busy these days, but the club is still where he goes off. Join him at Departure, along with Destructo (Hard), Mad Descent's Jillionaire, Paul Devro & Benzona and others. Vanguard, 6021 Hollywood Blvd.;

Sat., April 9: Another heavy-hitting decksmith, DJ Neil Armstrong, drops into L.A. for Felonious Funk, a new one at The Burgundy House (formerly Jimmy's Lounge; El Centro before that). Armstrong is Adidas' “Global Music Ambassador” and a vet on the A-lister party circuit. The DJ's mixtape work provides a nice sampling of the skills, but moving bodies live — via furious scratching and old/new soul/funk/hip-hop mashing — is what the NYC club banger does best. Also with Al Jackson (Soul Children) and Thorobredren (Sookah City All-Stars). 6202 Santa Monica Blvd. More info at

Thurs., April 14: L.A.'s outrageous fashion posse, the Omega Collektiv (along with Dystopian Studios and Liquid City), debut a new prancer/dancer called Club Impulse tonight. The club kids known for their Modern Romantix parties (and more recently the “Glass Door” gathering inside Red Zebra) throw fantastical fetes, and this one, featuring DJs Das Kadett, Job Leatherette and Amanda Jones spinning Dirty House, Electro Dark Minimal and Industrial Danse Beats, should be no exception. Eye candy includes “Gogo Gynoids” Chrome Girl and Disco Dolly, plus performance art and posing from Virgo Rising and Rockie Raccoon. “Xtreame” looks get in free, so dress to impress “door judge” Walki-Talki! Boardners, 1652 N. Cherokee Ave., Hlywd.; over 18. More info at

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