In a seriously random example of cashing in on notoriety, Levi Johnston, former Alaska governor Sarah Palin's former almost-son-in-law and father of her grandson, is hawking pistachios. Johnston appears in this Wonderful pistachio ad with his bodyguard and manager Tank Jones. Jones is Johnston's protection–get it?–someone who presumably was not around when the then-teenager actually needed some supervision. Why the stupid analogy? And why, oh why, the pistachios? (It is, by the way, harvest time at Santa Barbara Pistachio Company, if you're actually interested in pistachios.) Maybe because the sales reps for condoms or HazMat suits or Hatch chile peppers weren't answering the phones. If this ups pistachio sales, look for Rielle Hunter's pecan documentary soon.