Last month we reported on the persistent Internet rumor that Lady Gaga is actually a puppet of occult forces. That post was extremely popular and our amazing readers used it as a springboard to engage in a lively, still ongoing debate in the comments section (44 and counting!).

Well, this month Fortean Times magazine, the much-read authority on such bizarro matters, has published an in-depth cover story titled “Illuminati Idols: Who Really Controls the World's Pop Stars.” And guess what? Besides being tools of the Illuminati, the Freemasons and diverse occult congregations, Gaga, Beyonce, Britney, Simon Cowell and many others are also apparently being controlled by INTERGALACTIC LIZARD PEOPLE! (Also, related, ZOMG the lizard people killed Michael Jackson when he tried to get off message!)

(In case you're wondering if people actually believe in any of this–they do. Your friends and neighbors. The Starbucks barista with the hipster tats. The bank clerk with the angel figurines. Many of our beloved commenters. They all do. They are like the Tea Partiers of the pop music world.)

We've digested the long-ass Fortean Times piece by Richard Leon here, for your enlightenment and amusement [emphasis added]:

Unlike most corporations, the Illuminati have occult skills and arcane knowledge, as well as an advanced understanding of psychology which goes beyond the feeble marketing boosterism of positive thinking and PR. The Illuminati run everything – including the music, TV and movie industries. By incorporating trigger images and developing projects which promote their own form of amorality, the Illuminati can influence entire populations and promote their reptilian values of systematic abuse, pathological self-centredness and ruthless competition.This makes celebrities very useful to them.

Devotees of occult celebrity-spotting argue that not only are celebrities programmed and brainwashed, they're also cloned and genetically engineered to manifest a pleasing combination of good looks. Illuminati science is decades ahead of our own, so their scientists can create genetic celebrities to order, blessed with a perfect eye-catching combination of sexual charisma and physical attractiveness.

The marketing value of celebrity is worth billions, which is why famous names appear on the packaging of everything from breakfast cereals to cars, seducing their followers into buying the officially approved choices of their idols. But less positive occult leverage is also possible. Rather like voodoo dolls, Illuminati magicians and psychiatrists stick psychological pins into their pet celebrities, both for the instant gratification of immediate sadism and because the mass attention focused on celebrities transfers and amplifies the tort ure for the public at large. If the conditioning starts to slip, as sometimes it does, celebrities can always be sacrificed to create an upwelling of popular emotion that's immensely useful in ritual magic.

[R]ecently the conspiracy world has started to redefine the occult, reinventing its darker origins and relocating it in more mundane settings. The devil hasn't so much ridden out as moved into fashion, films and pop music. The old imagery of goats, virgins and scrappy chalk pentagrams has been replaced by a subtler and more sophisticated language.

There's no evidence that cloning is possible, never mind likely. And sceptics might also wonder how it's possible to tell the difference between the fashions and access ories available in any clothing store and official Illuminati-approved mind-control apparel. It doesn't take an expert knowledge of fashion to see that many of the claimed symbols and images are common to the point of being mundane. Butterfly images and leopard-print fabrics are widespread enough to be clichés in their own right. So how can these be images of mind-control?

The secret seems to be that what celebrities wear is proof of their mind-control, and ordinary women – and sometimes men – copy them to reinforce their own slave status. Sporting a butterfly tattoo or a leopard-print miniskirt might seem like harmless fun, but in fact it shows a willingness to conform and to support the Illuminati agenda of pædophilia and programmed mental destruction.

The fashion and media worlds are […] unwholesome. Rumours of sexual favours, not always voluntary, are common in modelling, acting and fashion photography. There's also no doubt that these are inherently risky professions. Creative media can boast a long list of famous names – most recently Michael Jackson and David Carradine – who were either murdered or committed suicide, often in bizarre and questionably convincing ways.

Fortean Times' Top 10 List of Occult Symbols in Music Videos

1. Butterfly tattoos, clothes, belts, hats, and other fashion accessories: “proof of mind-control because they refer to the MK-Ultra Project Monarch operation.”

2. Black and white checker boards or lines: “symbolize duality and good/evil.”

3. Mirrors and shattered glass: “represent the way the mind is shattered and mirr ored during mental torture.”

4. Big cats, including lions, panthers and tigers, and domestic cats “which are usually black or white and spiky rather than fluffy.”

5. Hello Kitty toys: “a more childish version of the same idea.” [I knew our own Liz Ohanesian was a tool of the Lizard People!]

6. Birdcages, chains and other symbolism of imprisonment.

7. Pink, purple and rainbow colours: “it's hard to see these as sinister, but purple is apparently used to reinforce programming. The rainbow represents psychological splitting.”

8. Doll symbolism.

9. The Marilyn Monroe look: “proof that a woman has been 'Stepforded' and no longer has any individuality.”

10. Pentagrams, pyramids (with and without the Eye of Horus), horned animal skulls, and other familiar standards: these cliches are activated when the handlers “become lazy.”

Fortean Times' Top Ten List of Mind-Controlled Music Celebrities

10. Robbie Williams [we're calling shennanigans on this one. If the Lizard People were in control of RW, surely they would have succeeded in breaking him into the US market by now!]

9. Stephen Gateley [deceased member of UK boy band Boyzone]

8 and 7. Beyonce and Jay-Z [Et tu, Hova?]

6. Britney Spears [duh!]

5. Miley Cyrus [actually, that explains it. Could the Lizard People also have been behind the “Achy Breaky”?]

4. Rihanna [Chris Brown, Lizard People enforcer?]

3. Simon Cowell [doesn't even bother hiding the lizard scales]

2. Michael Jackson [“But Jackson's rebellion against the conspiracy couldn't succeed; his plan to reveal the Illuminati's secret agenda to his millions of fans in a comeback tour was cut short, say the occult conspiracists, when he was murdered by his controllers.” Oh damn right they went there!]

and the number one puppet of the Illuminati/Lizard People/etc. cabal (of course)…


The Lady Gaga in Full Freemasonic Glory! (notice Lizard People-approved Hello Kitty dolls); Credit: Markus Klinko & Indrani for Hello Kitty!

The Lady Gaga in Full Freemasonic Glory! (notice Lizard People-approved Hello Kitty dolls); Credit: Markus Klinko & Indrani for Hello Kitty!

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