In what is possibly the most god-awful celebrity fragrance commercial since Britney Spears' fairyland “Fantasy,” Valley entrepreneur Khloe Kardashian enlists her otherwise pretty bad-ass boyfriend, thoroughly whipped Lakers star Lamar Odom, for a unisex perfume/cologne spot that has us more spooked than that Patrick Swayze/Demi Moore two-become-one scene in “Ghost.”

And that's saying something.

Not only is it terrible from any sort of artistic point of view (get a load of them squiggles), “Unbreakable” is downright creepy. “There's something sexy about a couple sharing a scent,” says Khloe in her best “I'm just as hot as Kim, I swear” voice, after blowing a kiss that could kill 100 kittens. No, Khloe — no there's not. Watch at your own risk:

Well, now we know who's the big spoon.

And… uh… who's reading their lines off a script penned by corporate bald men living out their fantasies of fusing their own shriveled scents with those of rippling black men and big-boned Armenian chicks.

Seriously. We need a drink. Stat.

One last thought, though, before we go try to erase this Hallmark boner kill from our brains, forever. How did Kobe Bryant let his teammate get away with this? Friends don't let friends share scents, man. Especially not on national television with their famous-for-being-famous Kardashian girlfriends.

Please, Khloe: Go molest Justin Bieber some more. It's somehow less creepy than watching your soul intertwine with Lamar Odom's. And that's saying something.

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