So, former Pamela Anderson spouse Kid Rock is among us once again, getting a taste of our awesomely entertaining legal system.
The rapper (is he still a rapper?) is in Los Angeles because 4 years ago, while he was hanging out at the Hollywood Roosevelt hotel, there was an incident involving some dudes who had asked him for an autograph. People got pushed, cameras were taken, limos were driven off, and now our overworked courts are wasting time trying to figure out who did what to whom, and whether Kid Rock owes these guys 15 million dollars.
The case is not interesting per se, but a couple of things came out of Kid Rock's mouth during his testimony last Friday that are kind of awesome. From the E! Online report (emphasis added):
Accused of aiding in the assault of three guys who asked for his autograph in 2006, Kid Rock testified Friday in Los Angeles Superior Court that, first of all, the plaintiffs are lying when they say he lashed out at them with the threat: “Who wants a piece of me next?” “I wouldn't say something corny like that,” the self-proclaimed badass said on the stand, before further denying that he punched, kicked or in any other way assaulted Michael Medlin, Jose Perez and Carlos Bonilla, who sued the music star in March 2008.
A member of the rap group Boo-Yaa T.R.I.B.E., whom he was hanging with in the wee hours of March 22, 2006, at the Hollywood Roosevelt hotel, pushed one of the plaintiffs–but not because he asked him to, Rock testified. “In L.A. and New York, you know they're not your fans,” the Detroit-born singer said, giving a nod to his adoptive Southern fan base. “If it's chaotic, I'm not going to give autographs.” The guy whom his rapper friend pushed was “kind of invading our space,” said Rock, whose real name is Robert Ritchie.
Ah, the “corny defense” (very similiar to OJ Simpson's “ugly-ass Bruno Magli shoes” defense, right? Which kind of worked…).
Followed by “RED STATES 4EVAH! I have no fans in LA and NY! I am the reincarnation of Lynyrd Skynyrd, a one-man Dukes of Hazzard spinoff! Coastal cities suck!”
Classy meets classier: The TMZ goons harassing Kid Rock outside the courthouse: