Just when you thought the Kardashians have jumped, captured and eaten the shark, now Momma K wants to dive back into the promotion sea…and in between your legs.
Kris Jenner has become the spokesperson for Zestra, which is a new brand of female sexual enhancement lubricant goop.
What the fuck and why the hell is that you ask? Good questions. Let's break it down.
According to the company's website, Zestra is a safe, natural blend of botanical oils that's clinically proven to enhance sexual desire, arousal and satisfaction in 70 percent of women.
Kris herself gushes, “I was thrilled to discover Zestra, especially because it's safe, natural and clinically proven to increase sexual satisfaction. It really works…and it's so easy to use…so great sex IS effortless.”
So after accidentally picturing the Jenners doin' it, I vomited last week's lunch and decided to do a little research.
Is Zestra the magic clit candy that it claims to be?
I asked Gary R. Cohan, M.D., an internist in Beverly Hills, Calif., recently voted one of the top docs in L.A. to to take a look. He had some thoughts about it:
He said that Zestra is basically a sexual lubricant that enhances sexual pleasure by mimicking natural vaginal secretions. The only difference is that Zestra contains herbal ingredients that have shown to cause a tingling and/or warming sensation in a woman's genitalia.
But here's the snag:
Says Dr. Cohan, “The only study done was paid for by Zestra's manufacturer; not an independent study. And of the 256 women who entered the study, only 178 women finished the 12-week study. Greater than a 30 percent dropout rate in a VERY short study which is not a very good sign.
He's not the only one thinking twice.
Zestra has been selling online for years. And while some Amazon reviews call the product “absolutely fantastic,” and claims it “works every single time,” others describe it as having an “extremely unpleasant smell,” or having “rancid grease” odor. Yikes.
And as for the study, some 70 percent women in the Zestra study claim it improves their sex lives. Yet 15 percent experienced genital burning.
Adding to the confusion, The Better Business Bureau rated the manufacturer a “C” because of deceptive marketing and billing practices, as some customers buying the product on a one-time-only basis with Zestra were automatically billed monthly.
I'm not saying that Momma Kardashian's vagina is not on fire with Zestra. It probably is.
And if you believe in herbal pussy products and you have the $24.95 for a box of nine Zestra packets (plus $7.95 for shipping and handling if you order it via the Zestra website), go ahead and try it!
It might just warm up your clit, and to quote yet another reality celebutard, “That's Hot.” And there are other several other brands of warming vag oil out there on the market, so the good news is that the market's clearly opening up.
The bad news: That may make room for another Kardashian endorsements.
Oh, the humanity.