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Along with painful sunburns and chlorine-stung eyes, a towering cone of ice cream signifies summer in all its glory. Japanese retail monstrosity Uniqlo is tapping into everything that a drippy dessert can evoke with a new line of 31 beach-appropriate bottom-wear designs inspired by Baskin-Robbins ice cream flavors.

Considering that palm trees, surfboards, and shark fins make it on to swimming trunks, ice cream doesn't feel like a strange evolution. Unfortunately, you won't find a goofy grinning clown cone etched across the crotch.

Mint Chocolate Chip; Credit: Uniqlo

Mint Chocolate Chip; Credit: Uniqlo

Instead, the subtler designs of the “BR” collection ($12.90 from the Uniqlo site) possess color schemes and print patterns that echo those of specific ice cream collections. “Mint Chocolate Chip” pairs dark-brown flowers with several shades of cool sea foam. “Orange Cheesecake” has psychedelic swirls that might make it look as if your thighs are melting.

Orange Cheesecake; Credit: Uniqlo

Orange Cheesecake; Credit: Uniqlo

Very cool, but we'd still prefer a clown cone across the crotch.

LA Weekly