Your shrink is vacationing in Belize, spending the thousands he made while daydreaming, er, listening to you whine. How will you make it through the week without him? What if your married, unemployed, drug-addled, balding boyfriend cheats on you — again? You begin to torture small animals? You start fantasizing about Mel Gibson? Your kid farts? These, and other serious problems can be solved in a jiffy at “Speed Shrinking.” For a paltry sum (no, Anthem Blue Cross doesn't cover it; since when does it cover anything anymore?) you can meet with 12 mental-health professionals for three minutes apiece. That way, you can compare and contrast modalities to see which therapeutic approach seems best for you. Not only does this event give you unprecedented access to a hypnotherapist, an eating-disorders specialist, a rape crisis and abuse professional, a sexpert, a mentoring coach and other problem solvers all in the space of 36 minutes, but it also promotes author Susan Shapiro's debut novel Speed Shrinking and offers a chance to socialize with others who struggle with life's challenges. Proceeds go to 826LA, an organization that supports students through writing skills. Oh, and the price of a ticket includes a drink, so if the advice stinks, you can always lose yourself in a glass of vino –unless you've got problems with alcohol. Busby's, 5364 Wilshire Blvd., L.A.; Thurs., Aug. 19, 7-9 p.m. $15. 826laspeedshrinking.eventbrite.com.

Thu., Aug. 19, 7 p.m., 2010

LA Weekly