Underwear bombers and Lieutenant Brodies of the future, beware.

The LAPD has recruited a new class of canine to help hunt terrorists at LAX, and their nose muscles are as hot and rippling as Schwarzenegger's biceps in the '80s.

Raised and trained on what we imagine to be a thriving puppy boot camp at Auburn University in Alabama, the dogs are a product of precise nature/nurture. By the end of their training, the university claims they can track down a bomb just by getting a whiff of the air somebody walked through…

… and will then lead law-enforcement officers straight to the source, without so much as “impeding traffic flow” of other pedestrians.

Yeah. They're that good. More proud-parent fridge points from the university:

A VWD canine is specifically bred and prepared its entire life to succeed in this line of work. A puppy enters the Detector Dog Raising Program upon birth. We engineer various environmental exposures and help develop the puppy's natural abilities over the first 12 months of its life. We primarily use Sporting Breeds [list of sporting breeds, for those as animal-ignorant as ourselves] in this line of work due to the close proximity of work between the canine and the general population. Sporting Breeds can operate within a crowd causing less or no disruption.

CBS News profiled Izzy, one of the LAPD's new bomb-sniffers, in a video report this morning. (Ironically the investigative work of ex-LAPD brass John Miller, who had his own Ted Donnelly moment in 2004 when he got caught at the LAX security checkpoint with a loaded gun in his laptop bag. Vapor-wake that!)

We're surprised the police union isn't coming out against this insanity. Pretty soon, once the superbreed starts walking on two legs and racial profiling and chasing down naked limo thieves without a cop on the other end of the leash, we won't even the LAPD anymore. And it is then that we mortal men shall be slaves to the vapor wakers!

[@simone_electra / swilson@laweekly.com / @LAWeeklyNews]

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