FRIDAY, October 17

The St. Vincent De Pauls and Good Wills of East Hollywood will be full of hipoisie scrounging for just the right semiformal wear for the first-ever L’Absinthe C’est la Mort. The evening is the brainchild of Amit Itelman, who runs the always head-scratchingly and gut-bustingly adventurous Steve Allen Theater. Hollywood Forever Cemetery’s cathedral mausoleum is the setting for the partaking of “the green fairy,” a.k.a. the quaff enjoyed by Hemingway, Wilde, Van Gogh — you know the type. Mr. Itelman promises that all the absinthe will contain authentic grande wormwood, though he’s not revealing where he’s getting it from, just that it’s “secret exotic places that I dare not disclose.” You won’t hallucinate on the stuff, says Amit, though, he adds, “In my experience, absinthe makes me feel like I’m floating between extreme alertness and euphoria. It’s a very specific and pleasant buzz.” Janet Klein and Her Parlor Boys provide the musical accompaniment, and tipplers will also experience a rare Magic Lantern show from a turn-of-the-century Masonic ritual. Hollywood Forever Cemetery, 6000 Santa Monica Blvd., Hollywood; Fri., Oct. 17, 9 p.m.; $20 (absinthe is $10 & up per glass). (800) 595-4TIX or

SATURDAY, October 18

Porn legend Linda Lovelace learned to suppress her gag reflex to perform the famous feats of fellatio in Deep Throat. That talent got her $1,200, swelling fame and a spot on Johnny Carson (his show, that is). Now Charlotte Caffey of the Go-Go’s and Anna Waronker of That Dog team up to present Lovelace: A Rock Opera. Were these rock chicks musical theater fans? “Not at all,” Waronker says. “Charlotte and I love [the films] Jesus Christ Superstar and Tommy, and I grew up loving The Sound of Music and Bye Bye Birdie and All That Jazz. Once we started getting immersed in writing Lovelace, we started to get into theater a bit more. And then we saw Katrina Lenk, who is playing Linda, in a revival of Chicago and loved it. I just saw A Chorus Line and it kinda blew my mind. I liked that and Chicago in the theater better than in film. Go figure.” But does Lovelace have a “Memories” moment, like from Cats? “Well, we sure hope so. The whole thing is music. Not one word is spoken. No dialogue whatsoever. Over 40 pieces of music strung together into a score. There are a lot of catchy numbers and definitely some songs that stand out that will make you cry or laugh or be fun to sing along to, even though the lyrics might be evil, and some stuff to even tap your foot to. “Hide My Soul” and ”I've Done Things I Would Never Do” are the real heartbreakers.  The character of Harry Reems has an hilarious song. And Linda’s got an anthem or two. We’re really hoping for [the video game] Rock Band to get on board.” Hayworth Theatre, 2509 Wilshire Blvd., L.A.; Thurs.-Sat., 8 p.m.; Sun., 7 p.m.; Oct. 18-Nov. 23; previews Oct. 11-12 & 16-17; $25-$30, $15 for previews. (323) 960-4442 or

They’ll never write a song about Western Avenue. But how well do any of us really know Western? The nice people at L.A. Metblogs have organized a walk down the 28 miles of Western, chosen by Will Campbell and Julia Frey because it’s long and straight and goes from north to south. And because they chose Sunset Boulevard last time, so the whole east/west thing has been done. Sat., Oct. 18; or

SUNDAY, October 19

You didn’t really think piece-of-shit-no-talent hack Tony Clifton — the polyestered alter ego of comedy legend Andy Kaufman — would stay away just because his creator is long-dead? Thanks to Kaufman crony Bob Zmuda, Clifton lives. One recent show, with the Katrina Kiss-My-Ass Orchestra, went over four hours until he cleared out the joint. If this, along with jokes about “nailing young pussy,” sounds like your idea of fun, you probably already have your tickets. Good thing it’s a benefit for Comic Relief’s Katrina fund. House of Blues, 8430 Sunset Blvd., West Hollywood; Sun., Oct. 19, 7:30 p.m.; $30. (213) 480-3232.

MONDAY, October 20

It’s cruel, it’s degrading, it’s Face It — Torture in the 21st Century: An Evening of Theatre, Art and Discussion. Artist-educator Robert Adanto performs Harold Pinter’s One for the Road. The ACLU’s Michael Rapkin will preach to the choir that the Bush administration is bad. The night of fun continues with “Gone Gitmo,” an installation depicting Guantánamo Prison “in the virtual-reality environment.” Highways Performance Space, 1651 18th St., Santa Monica; Sun.-Mon., Oct. 19-20, 7:30 p.m.; $20, $15 students & seniors. (310) 315-1459 or

TUESDAY, October 21

Speaking of degrading, Playboy founder Hugh Hefner will sign copies of Mr. Playboy. Steven Watts, who did all the work on the book, will also be signing but doesn’t expect you to care who he is. Book Soup, 8818 Sunset Blvd., West Hollywood; Tues., Oct. 21, 7 p.m.; free, but tickets and book purchase required, so it’s not really free at all. (310) 659-3110.

WEDNESDAY, October 22

Why is a well-known, respected actor like John C. Reilly doing a variety show? Reilly’s Variety Show finds the actor playing Ed Sullivan (look him up, kiddies) on a Wednesday night. No further info could be procured at press time. Largo at the Coronet, 366 N. La Cienega Blvd., L.A.; Wed., Oct. 22, 8:30 p.m.; $30. (310) 855-0350.

THURSDAY, October 23

A Refugee Camp in the Heart of Los Angeles and Santa Monica is a reconstruction that shows the exact conditions faced by a refugee. Aid workers from Doctors Without Borders will guide you through it. Afterward, find a nice expensive restaurant and be rude to the waiter. Crystal Springs Picnic Area, Griffith Park; Wed.-Mon., Oct. 22-27, 9-5:30 p.m.; free. Also at parking lot 1 north, Santa Monica Pier; Fri.-Sun., Oct. 31-Nov. 2, 9 a.m.-5:30 p.m.; free. (800) 490-0773.

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